Can't sleep

It's just after midnight here and I can't sleep. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I can't rest. I would love to be in slumber land but I can't seem to get my mind to ease. I can't say that I have any pregnancy related stress on my mind, although I do have some personal issues on my mind that are kinda of bothering me. I haven't talked to K all week, unless via email counts, and I've barely spoken to my friends either. I guess I just needed some space from everyone. This week depression has been really bad for me.

I was talking to a girlfriend about "the confrontation" of 07. I just keep wondering what's going to happen to me after this baby is here. I know K is here now but can I count on him to want to make things right between us and we try to be a family? One of my blogger friends said that if a man tells you something, believe him because that's just how and who he will be. Part of me hates to think that I will fall into that single parent realm, and the other part of me hopes and prays that one day having a real family will work. I just hate seeing children who go through life with weekend custody and not having both parents there. I just really hate that. I guess I should have thought of that before getting pregnant, huh? LOL. I don't regret ending up pregnant, actually I'm quite happy about it. I just hate the circumstances surrounding my life before the pregnancy.

I've been suffering from boughts of loneliness. It's hard at this point trying to do everything on my own. I'm trying to clean, move stuff, get ready for the baby and physically, it's hard. It's to the point now that even bending down hurts. I hate going through this alone. I can only go to my parents house so many times and I can only blog so many times, and I can only complain to my girlfriends so many times. I just want to feel some sense of relief as my personal life is concerned. On days when things are good, their great; and other days their mediocre. Maybe it's all hormonal. I won't rule that. Maybe this week has just been a rut and will be get better. Yea, that's it. It's just been a rutty week. On that note, I think I'll go to Quiktrip and get a slushy drink.