Reflections

I was looking back over my past posts and I am amazed at how much things have changed. Wow. Not only has it been almost a year that I started this blog but my world, my life is completely different. There was posts when I didn't think I would be able to make through a day, and others when I was so grateful for my friends and family. There were days when K was the best guy ever and others when he was a complete jerk and I almost didn't give our son his last name. Wow. That terms about sums it all up...wow.

Kendall is now 15 weeks and will be 16 weeks next week. Apparently I was counting wrong my son's weeks start over on the 4th of each month. who knew! Thank goodness for friends that know this stuff. Either way my baby is growing like a weed and I am totally in love with him. Kendall truly is my world and I find myself ready to have another baby so that he can have a playmate. Am I crazy? Maybe. Will it be anytime soon? Nope. I would love to be married when I have another child and can't wait to share this experience all over again with my husband. But of course I wouldn't change anything that happened with Kendall for the nothing.

15 weeks old

I can’t believe my baby turned 15 weeks old on Monday, November 17. Geez time is flying by and I don’t want him to grow up so fast. He is now sleeping longer through the night. Not quite the whole night but he does wake up at least once and goes right back to sleep after a bottle. We’re still dealing with his congestion although it isn’t too bad. I can’t quite say it’s a cold but I think its just from the temp changing. I’ve been letting him sleep with me the past couple of nights since it’s been cold plus I haven’t wanted to sleep alone. J I’ve missed cosleeping and may start back. Especially on nights his daddy doesn’t spend the night.

Kendall is also rolling over sometimes and holding his head up really good. I’ve made sure I give him lots of tummy time so he can play practice with that. Sometimes I’ll put him on his back so he can play on his activity mat but he doesn’t care much for that sometimes either. LOL. I’ve been meaning to get him a new one but we’ll probably save that for someone to get him that for Christmas. Thanksgiving is next week and we’ll be spending it in Mississippi with K’s family. This will be Kendall’s first long car ride and an interesting trip. 4 hours plus a time change when we get there? My poor baby’s internal clock is going to be all off. He’ll probably go to bed earlier since he won’t be used to that time change. Plus I don’t want K’s mother spoiling him and messing up a good routine I have with him. Folks need to remember that Kendall spends 90% of his time with me. I don’t want to mess up something that works in my home.

Good news! The pastor of my grandmother’s church will be dedicating Kendall in January! Yay! I’m so excited and happy. I’ve really wanted to get this done and finally have someone to do it. The question now is how supportive his father will be of that. If he doesn’t want to, fine, but I’m still going do it. I’ve already spoken with Kendall’s godparents (Kelly and Estelle) about this and they fully support it. So I need to order his invitations and all that.

Well, that’s about it for us. We’re going to spend Friday night decorating the Christmas tree I plan to pick up

3 months old - First Halloween

I am really behind on posting but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Kendall is now 3 months old. I can't believe how much time has flown by. My baby is growing up. He celebrated his first Halloween this past Friday. My little pumpkin was a pumpkin. LOL

I had to take him to the doctor the other day. Turns out there was recall on Carter's clothing and75% of his clothes are Carter's. Luckily he wasn't being affected by the rash due to the clothes but he does have ecezma. The doctor gave me some steriod cream to put on him so it should clear up soon.

Still not sleeping through the night although he will sleep about 5 hours straight. This is pretty good considering he's not on cereal yet. No sir. He is trying to pull his upper body up and lifts his legs up pretty high. My baby is growing up so fast! I've been using Aveeno on his skin and its making quite a difference. I love how clear it's getting. I'm using it on me as well and I've noticed a difference.

We're doing ok on our rountine. He's usually in bed by 9 something, up at 2 or 3 for a bottle and back up at 615 or so. We got a pretty good rountine going, now if we can just get him to sleep through the night...

THere are some days when it's hard to do this by myself but other days I manage. No one said being a single parent would be easy but I do love being a mother despite anything. He's the best thing I've ever done. I had other pictures to post but I have tons to do around the house while he's taking his evening nap.

10 weeks old

Kendall is now 10 weeks old. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. Just the other day he was sleeping all day along and I was able to get things done, now he's wide awake for two plus hours and wants to be entertained. Where did the time go? Where did my newborn go? He's officially an infant now.

Of course his latest is rolling over constantly and holding his head up with no problem. He also still loves to stand up. Wow. the other day I started to get a craving for another baby. Can you believe that? I miss being pregnant and enjoyed it up until I was 37 weeks. By then I was just big and miserable. LOL. Nonetheless, Kendall will have a brother or sister in another year or two; preferably two. Hopefully I'll be married by then and can make that possible.

Last night was a rough night because he did not want to go to bed but he finally passed out close to midnight. I didn't even realize K was gone home by then. We're going to visit my grandma this Saturday. I'm so excited! The whole family will be there. I can't wait. She's so excited about seeing him so I know he's going to get passed around with no problem. *sigh* K is going. I just don't feel comfortable making that 2 hour roadtrip by myself. That's just too far with a 10 week old. Well, since there's nothing else to report, I'll post some updated pictures of baby boy.

Kendall is now 9 weeks old and in daycare. His first day was rough for me. I only called the daycare once and went by to visit once. It's getting a little better. Considering how I'm returning to work tomorrow (Thursday), I will distracted during the day. Tjank goodness for web viewing though.

We're getting better at our sleep patterns. When he wakes up, I change him, give him a bottle and burp him and he's out all in 15-20 minutes. I would say that's pretty good considering he's 9 weeks old. He's also smiling and laughing more. He's even focusing in on me more than before. There are still some instances when it seems like he's not but he' s getting there. The doctor said that was all normal.

As for me, all that baby weight I lost seems to have come back. *sigh* I know part of it is me being lazy which is why I've been changing my eating habits. Of course it all starts there but I'm working on it. I have no choice but to. I figure when we get home int he evenings while he's napping, I'll exercise with Tae-bo. Now, Im saying this but I need to commit to doing it.

K went back home. WEll, we actually had a little spat but he ended staying at home so now it's just me and Kendall. I'm a little sad but I'm not going to fight with him or beg him to see his child. This is how it is going to be and I can't do anything about it. Anyway, I'm a little depressed about it but I'll get over it. It's all about me and Kendall now. We have our routine and it's been working out great.

I'm dreading returning to work tomorrow. The bills have to be paid but man I hate being on-cal 24 hours a day. Hence the reason I am diligently looking for a new job. Momma has to be home with her baby more and not be worried about calls in the middle of the night.

It's funny that I've been spending sometime over at MDC's Single Parents forum. Most of the people are there are beginning to date and I can't even imagine doing something like that. Me, dating? Please! my focus is Kendall. He's my date and we're together everyday. His dad is supposed to come over on Thursday and it is then that we will have the talk about visitation and how we're going to work all of that. I need a routine and something confirmed. And if he's planning to stay home all the time, I definitely need my key back.

Halloween is right around the corner and I need to figure out this picture thing. Doesn't look like he will be doing him until he's 3months old so that'sin November. I still want to do his Christening but I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. *sigh* this sucks. Oh well. I'll figure it out because that's what mothers do.

8 weeks old

We have hit a definite milestone: my baby is 8 weeks old now! I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday my water broke and we were rushing to the hospital. Now I have a two month old who is rolling over. Yes, I said it, he is rolling over. This morning I noticed that went I looked over in his crib he was pushing up on his arms and rolled right on over. I put him back on his belly and he did it again. Where is the time going?

We also have some sleep issues. Well, not major issues but things.For one, he sleeps most of the day and doesn't want to go to bed until midnight each night. Naturally this isnt going to work because I go back to work next week! But hey, he's still a baby so I'll just have to deal with it. Tomorrow morning I'm going to practice getting us both up and ready early in the morning. I'm not sure if K is going to be staying here after next week so the extra help will be great but what will I do when he starts staying at his place? As a matter of fact, he's getting up with Kendall tonight. I plan to rest all I can.

The other issue is with the bed. Kendall has gottenmuch better about sleeping in his crib. I put his bassinet up in storage so he has no choice but to sleep there but at around 6 am, he refuses to go back to sleep unless he's in the bed with me. I'm really trying to break that habit but we'll keep working on it. He'll just have to get used to being there.

I really hate that I'm going back to work next week. Technically I can take another 3 weeks but I need to get back because we have some serious hospital bills to take care of. It seems everytime I turn around I've gotten a new bill. My goal was to buy a house by next year but I don't see that happening. Between my credit cards ($2500) and my hospital bill ($2000), I pretty much plan to use my tax return to get rid of the remaining balance of these. Keep your fingers crossed we can work this out.

I haven't been doing so well on the weight loss. Sure I look great but I have pre-pregnancy weight that I want to lose. Just 15 pounds. It's very possible but I'm just not committing like I should which is totally my fault. I plan to work on that immediately this week. I did, however, go out and buy a scale. Something much needed to get this cracking on the weight loss. Bikini here I come! I'm going to take to K about us doing a family weekend getaway to Savannah with my parents in the spring. I think it would be nice because kendall can go to the beach for the first time.

His appetite has increased. Where he was drinking about 3-4oz, he is now up to 6 oz in one feeding! What a little chunky monkey I have. I stopped breastfeeding about a month ago but I'm looking into relactation and trying to start back. I know it will be difficult but I would really love to do it. Fingers crossed it works out.

Well, that's about all to report now. We're going to try and do an 8 week old photoshot here at home tonight. I'll be posting pictures soon. Did Imention that he loves to stand up now? My dad and K have now started him with standing. Whenever he gets fussy, I stand him up and get coos and smiles away. Lord have mercy! LOL

7 weeks

Well, Kendall turned 7 weeks old today. And let me just say, my child is freaking amazing. Not only is he holding his head up really well, but he's also starting to stand. He loves to stand up and look around. It's just amazing to me. I can't believe he's already trying to do that.

Finally broke down and did some winter shopping for him. Now that the weather is changing and he'll be starting daycare in two weeks, we needed to get him some little jackets and sweaters. Geez, daycare? I am so not ready for that. I can't believe how fast time is going by. I'm dreading going back to work. I love spending everyday with him. We'll still be doing that, just the time will be tighter since we both have to get up early in the morning.

Speaking of which, K is still spending the night here every night. I think I'm going to suggest he stay home one night so that I can see how things go by myself. I love having him here but I need to get used to doing this on my own. Pretty much now he's here every night and I take Kendall to see my parents on the weekend. The plan was actually for K to watch him while I'm out with the girls on Saturday night but I'm thinking I'll take him to my parent's house instead. They only get to see he on the weekend so at least one over-nighter a month is due. I'm sure K won't mind an evening alone anyway.

Now that I'm not breastfeeding anymore and he's on formula, I've noticed more bowel movements or constipation on his part. Something I need to make sure I mention at his next doctor's appointment, although they keep telling me it's ok. Even my mom says its normal. Well, let me get to clipping coupons. With a baby in the house, I'm on a serious budget until I return to work.

6 weeks old

Kendall turned 6 weeks old yesterday. I still can't get over how fast time is flying by and how much he's grown. He can hold his head up pretty good, loves to stand up and can't get enough of you holding him. We're still working on this sleep thing. I've learned that he loves to sleep on his belly. I know i'm not supposed to put him on there, but I do it for a while so that he can get some good rest. It seems to work because he'll sleep for 2 hours that way, if I don't interupt and turn him over.

I went by his future daycare yesterday to make sure everything was in order. I have all his information except for his immunization record, which will be done on Oct 3. I'm so nervous about his first day. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself that day other than come back home and sleep for a few hours before going out to do whatever errands I need to do.

I'm really trying to work on this fitness thing. due to my c-section, I have that pouch at the bottom of my stomach. *sigh* I need to do better about exercising but that's my plan for tonight. I can't just let myself go like this. I really want to have it together for the holiday coming up.

Saturday will be the first time I leave Kendall and Ken alone for an extended period of time. I'm going to get my hair done at Kanetta's house. I'm a little nervous but it won't be for a long time. I suppose I should get used to those two being together. I'm just not up for the overnight stays yet. Nope, not yet. Ken is still working on this father thing so we'll have to see how that goes for him.

Other than that, everything is great. Just loving being a mother and adjusting to live with a a baby.

Colic

Kendall is wearing a sistah down! He has been so fussy and whiny the past couple of days. I think it's colic. So here I am now at 530 am with him lying on his belly on my lap. I soooo need a break. K moved out today until his apartment but we talked and he's going to stay until I go back to work to help me out. Yay! Lord knows I need him now. The deal is that he has to get up with Kendall more often during the week so I can get some rest. He did a good job tonight but I know he also needs his rest. We're trying though.

With Kendall not able to get his shots until October 3, that has delayed me returning to work until the following Monday. It's all good though. I'm not stressing it. Just gives me a little longer to be with him. I think K is going to go with us to that appointment since he has to get his shots that day.

Well, now that I have him settled let me try to get some rest.

One month old already?

It's been a while but I've been busy with a newborn. Kendall turned one month old yesterday and celebrated his first holiday - Labor Day. What a day it was. We basically spent the day at my parent's house while his dad moved into his new apartment nearby. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. K's parents came to visit from MS this weekend and his mother basically held Kendall for two days. I swear my child is spoiled rotten now. I also had some visits from my two line sisters and Sheena. I was so happy to see some other people.

And would you believe my child smiled for his grandmother while he was awake but would not smile for me? Dang! I have to get him to smile for me. Lately his bowel movements have been far and few between. I get a little worried about him but apparently this is normal. He has his first doctor's appointment tomorrow so I'm going to make sure I talk to the ped about that. He also has slight baby acne but that's normal as well. I plan to take some pictures of him tomorrow. I would have done it today but my camera is suddenly missing and I wonder if K has it.

Other than that, life is great. I love being a mom. It's such a wonderful experience. Kendall truly is the apple of my eye. I can be bit selfish about wanting to share him with others but there's something about a mother's love.

Kendall at 3 weeks

My baby is 3 weeks old and getting bigger everyday. I can't believe how time is flying by. One thing I do know that I plan to enjoy each and every moment I'm home with him. My plan was take him outside for a walk today but with this crazy weather it didn't happen. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

We're still working on the sleep thing. Actually, the problem isn't him, it's me. I'm the one who can't fall asleep at night. I need to work on going to sleep more in the evenings. We both go for our check-ups next week. And would you believe I just realized that this weekend is a long weekend? Labor day. Maybe we'll go out and do a family thing. Go for walks everyday or something so we can both get some sun and air. Next weekend, however, K is taking me on a date. As a matter of fact, I need to let him know that this evening. LOL. I'm ready to get out and be around some people. I'm talking dinner, a movie and all. I'll let Kendall stay with mom and dad for the night so we can sleep a full night. Lord knows it's be awhile since we did that.

We had that dreaded money discussion last night. I was a bit nervous about it but we really needed to talk about how we were going to handle paying for things in regards Kendall. Luckily, the conversation wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to have. And we had a really good evening, the 3 of us lying in bed talking and watching tv. Oh that note, let me run since it's time to wake him for a diaper change.

3 weeks old

It's been a minute but I've been busy with a newborn. Kendall turned 3 weeks old today. My how time is flying by. Seems like just yesterday my water was breaking and we were rushing to get to the hospital. He's growing so much! I'm still adjusting to this waking up constantly at night but we're doing great. He also stretches...alot. I was abit worried but my mom says that's normal. He's even given me a smile or two. I hope and pray he'll have some big smiles when we do pictures in October.

I feel great. I think I've lost alot of pregnancy weight and I feel like myself again. Yesterday I drove for the first time. It was nice to get out of the house for a few. Saturday I spent the day with my parents. It was nice as well. Then tons of family came over to see Kendall and have dinner. We didnt stay for dinner but we were there with them. I love all the love that comes with a new baby. Well, Kendall is crying so let me go tend to him.

Two weeks old

It's been a minute but I have a newborn so I try to blog whenever I can. Kendall will be two weeks old tomorrow. My how time has flown by. Breastfeeding is not going well at all. I can get him to latch on but he doesn't nurse well at all. I guess he's so used to the formula. I really hope I can at least get him to nurse at least once a day everyday but I said by the end of this week, I'm giving up completely. Yea, yea, I know. I probably shouldn't but it's frustrating. Besides, this kid is growing like a weed! LOL.

My grandmother surprised me and came into town this weekend. I was so happy to see her. She brought my little 5 month cousin Kamari with her.I got tons of pictures of Kendall and Kamari. I swear this Christmas will be a busy one. I'm so excited. I can't wait for him to get about her size and doing what she does.

Today K and I spent about 5 hours at my folks house. We had a huge dinner and sat around laughing. It was so nice to finally get out of the house and have a good time with the family. I had to keep taking Kendall away from them and put him in his chair so that he isn't used to folks sitting there holding him all day. People forget that I'm here with him all day and that once his dad gets settled in his apartment, I'll be here by myself. Yea, lest we not forget that.

K and I are getting along as well as can be expected. I have my days when I hate him but I'm trying my best to be compromising and understanding that this is his son and that's he's a first time dad. *sigh* Lord help me. I'm trying but man....

I finally got my short term disability pay. Yay! I can go ahead and pay my rent for Sept and Oct. Thank you Jesus. Luckily I'll have the extra cash to pay for my other bills and stuff before returning to work. Oh, I invited the girls over a ladies afternoon at the end of the month. I plan to go through some clothes and donate tons of stuff to Goodwill. I want to start fresh with my wardrobe and plan to get rid of tons of stuff. Purses and all. The only thing I'm keeping are my shoes and y'all know how I feel about my shoes... LOL

Friday nights have become pizza nights in my house. I don't cook on the weekend so I've gotten in the habit of ordering pizza in and kicking back. Tomorrow I plan to work on my closet and start folding/bagging clothes. Each day I'll have K take a container out of the storage closet for me to sort. Should help pass time during the day.

Oh! Funny story: Saturday night K and I got up with Kendall and would you believe that boy pissed and pooped all over my bed! Not to mention he peed all over my phone! >:( I was fighting mad but I couldn't blame him.

One week, two days

Things here at home with baby Kendall are going great. We still have some issues with breastfeeding and latching on, I plan to keep trying for as long as I can. Honestly I didn't even attempt to at all yesterday. I feel ok except for the occassional pain in my tummy but that's supposed to be normal. We had our one week check up and he has grown an inch and gained 6 oz. Go Kendall! Seems we're both doing well.

I'm pretty much getting in sync with his routine. Can't quite say it's predictable but I got an idea of how he operates. It's during the night that he likes to sit up and stay awake for an hour. I'm going to do my best to keep him up late tonight. Last night he woke up at 1:30 and 5:30. This wasn't so bad. K is still adjusting to life with a baby. We both are really. I've been feeling a little bit of the baby blues but not because Kendall, moreso because of K. I just don't feel like he's attracted to me anymore. Last night we spent the evening eating dinner tonight and talking in bed for an hour. It was really nice to at least do that much. I just wish he would at least hug me or touch me other than back to back. But this is another story for another day.

Other than that, things are peachy. We go back for our postpartum appointments just after Labor Day and might get the green light to leave the house for a change. LOL. The first thing I plan to do is cook a HUGE dinner at my parent's house in honor of their anniversary since I didn't get a chance to do anything for them. I hear Kendall stirring so let me check on him and see what we're going to eat for dinner tonight.

Day 5 as a new mommy

Well, its been 5 days since Kendall was born and my life has completely changed. I have never been in love with someone the way I love him. He is wonderful in everyway. From every spit up to the two times he's peed on me, I love him like I never loved any man. His father is certainly proud. I have to keep reminding myself that he's never handled babies before and doesn't know how to do things. I try not to sound mean but he needs to learn that you can't loolygag when it's time to move. He's so slow about changing diapers and even warming a bottle. It's frustrating because I've had practice my whole life but I'm making myself learn to slow down, breath and teach him.

I think I may have overdid things yesterday because I've had an awful pulling in my stomach. And naturally it hurts to cough so I said I would take today easy. It doesn't help that there are tons of clothes to wash but I'll put them up tomorrow. I know I have the support of everyone and will take advantage of it. Speaking of which, I need to figure out what to eat for breakfast. When K wakes up I'll have him to get me a smoothie and salad. I'm trying to make sure my diet is very healthy so that I can drop the baby weight but also so my milk supply is good for Kendall. Speaking of milk....

Mine still hasn't come in. My boobs are pretty sore today but I haven't attempted to put him on yet. He and his father are still sleeping. They look so cute sleeping in the bed together. As much fuss I put up about not letting him sleep with us, he's been in the bed with us all night. LOL. I'm a new mommy. I cant help it. My goal for the weekend is to relax and not have any visitors. Right now I just want to chill and spend time with my little family. Wow, I have a family...

He's here and I'm a mommy! Birth story

I woke up around 6 am on August 3rd unable to sleep. I felt fine. K and I did a lot of running around the day before and had even made it out to the movies that morning to see the new Mummy movie I was dying to see. Well, around 7:30 I decided to go back to bed since he wasn't up and I was finally getting sleepy. As soon as I hit the bed, I felt a trickle run down. My first thought was that I peed on myself. After I climbed back out of the bed and let my feet hit the floor, the floodgates opened. I yelled for K to wake up because my water broke. It seemed the water just did not want to stop so I jumped in the tub (yea, I panicked). After calling my parents and letting them know this was it, we both showered and got dressed.

I must have changed clothes twice because the waters kept coming. I mean, it was like Niagra Falls or something. We finally left the house about an hour later and met my aunt at the hospital. After the midwife checked me and confirmed that my water had indeed broke, things got long. Apparently I was dilating very slowly and it ended up causing serious distress to Kendall. I couldn't sit up because it was would raise my blood pressure so I spent the next 32 hours laboring on my sides. Yes, I said 32 hours of labor and half of it was without an epidural. I swear I snatched Big up a couple of times because the pain was extruciating. I mean, I have never felt pain like this before. I put my ipod and tried to get focuses and it helped some.

Because my dilation was so slow after laboring all night, they decided that a C-section would be best for both Kendall and I and we agreed. He was born at 3:26 pm on August 4, weighing 6lbs 1.9 oz, and measuring 19 inches long. He is such a quiet and content baby. We're still having some difficulty with breastfeeding but his bottle appetite is picking up. I'm just grateful and blessed for a healthy child. Other than that, everything is great. We may end up going home today or tomorrow, Friday the latest. I have some staples in my tummy that will have to be removed from the c-sec but I'm doing well.

K is the happiest man on the earth. He has done so well with getting up with him everytime he cries and taking care of him. Since I've been pretty bed ridden, it's all on him and he hasn't complained once.

39 week appointment

Yesterday's appointment went like this:

• Still 1 cm
• 60% effaced
• Soft and mushy cervix
• Kendall still hasn't dropped
• Anyday now

I was hoping that there would have been more change than this but it wasn't. Either this kid is waiting on his due date or he's just being stubborn. I'm trying not to fret about it, but hey, it is what it is.

I'm still having contractions and ankles swelling. She also said that ankle swelling will go away after I deliver. yay! It seems the blood return in my feet is blocked by the baby so that's all.

Well, there isn't much else to report other than I'm ready and just waiting. Today is my last day at work and I plan to spend next week lounging. *sigh* It should be so wonderful.

False Alarm again

Yesterday on my way home I started experiencing a crampy feeling. It started while I was on the phone with my cousin. By the time I made it home, it was still coming and they were getting slightly stronger. So, I emailed my mom and told her how I was feeling. She said it sounded like pre-labor pains and that she would stop by on her way home from work. The whole time she was there I managed to cook dinner and we chatted for about 45 minutes before she left and I still managed to have them. They weren't painful but man were they annoying.

After she left they started back up and I figured that if I were going to go into labor, I might as well get my last meal in and go to Mickey D's for a Big Mac. While I was in the drive thru, they kept getting stronger and stronger. It didn't help that they messed up my burger so I had to go back around and get an attitude. I got home and decided to get comfortable before K got home. He scared the crap out of me when I came out of the bathroom. I had no idea he was there. I told him that I think it may be time to head to the hospital the look on his face was priceless. LOL.

I called the nurse and awaited a call back. In the meantime, I was on my knees in pain and called my cousin. He told me to go to the hospital or wait it out. We opted to wait it out and see. I mean, if these contractions weren't coming every 5 minutes, no need to leave out. K kept rubbing my back the whole time (as if rubbing was going to do something!) and finally the nurse called back. She talked me through it all and said she would call the hospital and let them know I may be headed that way. Well, waited and timed them and they finally disappeared by 10:30. I don't remember falling asleep but apparently I did because my mom called about 11 to check on me and I was knocked out.

We are at the point now where we're waiting on pretty much any day, any time for Kendall to show up. I'm nervous and anxious but I figure since Friday will be my last day, I can spend next week going for walks and maybe swimming. Its a good exercise and will give me a chance to relax. Hopefully I can make it to the end of the next week but we'll see. I've had some pressure 'down there' and Kendall is definitely moving. There's a new moon on Friday so maybe while I'm at Kanetta and Naomi's house he will decide to get moving.

39 weeks

Well, I turned 39 weeks today. Officially one more week until I have been pregnant for 10 months. 10 freaking months. I feel ok with the exception of missing some serious sleep and feeling some cervical pressure. I guess I'll end up making it to my due date after all. I woke up in bad pain in the middle of the night. I had to hit Ken to wake him up so that he could rub my back. I mean, the pain was paralyzing! I've never felt anything like that. I don't know if it was a contraction or back spasm. Either way, that ish hurt something serious.

I plan to take some pictures today when I get home from work. Just a few shots since I look kinda cute today. *wink* For some reason yesterday I got hit with that "jump his bones" feelings. That all changed around 9 pm for reasons I'd rather not say. I'm trying not to let myself get upset but sometimes that man just pisses me off! Argh!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I plan to actually cook dinner. Yea, I know. How about that? Can't tell you the last time I've actually done that and figured I'd try it tonight. If I'm not too tired or too lazy to do. Personally I think I may just clean the kitchen and leave it at that. K can cook if he wants. I'm just not feeling up to it these days. I'm exhausted and very much pregnant.

My friend Na just emailed and asked me how I was feeling. After i explained to her about the insomnia (which is worse than before), she meant emotionally. I told her that there are moments when I'm ready to get this over with and others when I'd rather just stay pregnant. I guess my thoughts are plagued with worrying about if I'm really cut out of this mother stuff. I mean, I know have maternal instinct but now I'm responsible for a life. I mean, that's major! Maybe I'm worrying myself for nothing. We'll see. Either way, I'm sure everything will be just fine.

I'll be sure to take those pictures and get them posted up tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.

Barefoot and pregnant

I keep having the craziest dreams that Kendall is here. K said that last night he had two reoccuring dreams about me going into labor. Does this mean that it's near? At 2 am, I got up because I thought the child was over in his crib, so I looked and realized that I was still pregnant. Yea, I think a full bladder in the middle of the night will do some strange things to you. Needless to say, I slept pretty good last night just wish I had more time. K and I got up for work and were talking as we were getting dressed. I guess we're both pretty anxious about getting this baby here at this point. What's pissing me off more than anything right now are the swelling of my feet. I mean, seriously, I am so sick of these things blowing up the way they do. It's freaking lunch time and I don't even feel like going out to get anything to eat because I know it's going to hurt to walk. *sigh*

I feel like I've done nothing but complain for the past month, which may be true, but why do things have to get worse before they get better? I am so sick of people commenting on the fact that I'm still pregnant. Yes, I know I am and I'm not due for over another week. Why does everyone want to rush it? *rolling eyes*

K has been home with me every night. He's been looking for an apartment closer to me so I suppose we'll be doing that this weekend. Personally I don't feel like doing much of anything but I know I need some air. I had plans to get a pedicure during lunch but I don't feel like going anywhere. I'll just stop by the mall on my way home and do it then. Tonight's plan is to fold laundry and kick back. That is it. I think K is playing basketball so I'll have some dinner ready for him but I have no other plans for the evening. I'm just going to be barefoot and pregnant.

38 week appt

Had my doctor's appointment yesterday and walked away a little depressed. Turns out I'll have to have antibiotics in my IV when I got into labor because I tested positive for Group B Strep. Nothing life-threating since it lives in everyone but can cause the baby to get sick with pnemonia since their immune systems aren't up to par. I'm fine with that but one of the downfalls is that it could interfer with nursing. *sigh* I'm really trying to breastfeed but we'll see what happens. I also found out that I am still at 1 cenimeter dilated, 30% effacement and the baby was moved back up in my pelvis instead of down. *blank stare* Doggone it little boy, drop! I just knew I was dilating something serious this weekend but nope. The kid has moved back up in my stomach and refuses to come down. At this point, it's looking like I might end up having him on my due date of August 8 after all. My midwife said that they will not let me go past 41 weeks without inducing me (something else I want to avoid) so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I called K to come over last night because I was feeling a little down and didn't want to be alone. He came and I assume for the mountain of clothes and stuff he left, that he'll be back over tonight. I do recall him telling me that he was pretty much going to move in after this weekend anyway so that he's there for when Kendall comes. I'm really hoping this kid shows by my next appointment. I guess I feel a little envious of those who already had their babies. I am so ready to meet the little man that will change my life forever. I know it won't be easy but I'm just ready.

I stopped by two daycare centers yesterday and think I found a winner. I love the facility and the staff. The woman in charge is really great. I do want my mom and Big to go by at some point so that we can get everything in order. Definitely an exciting time.

Well, nothing else to report at this point. Just waiting on baby boy to get here. Fingers crossed!

Insomnia

Ok, I'm really trying to stay optimistic and upbeat but I'm not feeling it. I've been up since 3 am. I had to force myself to go back to sleep at 5:30 for at least an hour so that I got some rest. I'm tired yet not sleepy tired. I feel like i just need to lie down and nothing at all. But that's not going to happen because I have tons of errands to run before going to my doctor's appointment today.

I am just so ready to have this baby already. Between his weight, the swelling and the annoying questions people keep asking, I'm mentally done. I am no longer a happy camper nor will I front like I am. If one more damn person says to me, "Why are you still pregnant?!" or "You're still here at work?" YES I AM 38 WEEKS PREGNANT AND STILL HERE! I can't rush when this will happen but I certainly want it to. Ugh! But hey, when Kendall is ready to make his appearance, he will. He is definitely a Leo; gotta run shyt even from the womb.

Well, I have my doc appointment in a few hours so maybe I've dilated. I'm hoping I have. I plan to eat some lunch here in a few. Nothing heavy until after my appt. We're on water restriction here at work so we can't drink the water until notified. This sucks because water tastes so good and now I have to spend $1.25 just get a bottle. Geez! Anyway, I suppose I'll try to do some work (yea right, what work), eat and the head out for my appointment.

Mucous plug - going, going, gone!

Big finally put the crib together (I'll post pictures later) so everything is in place for Kendall's arrival. We had a false alarm Friday night about 3 am that kept us up until 4. By the time it was all over, I was exhausted. I did finally manage to do my grocery shopping so everything is set to go at this point. Nothing else to do, nothing else to buy. We are on baby watch, yellow status. LOL.

The funniest thing of the weekend was watching him put the crib together Saturday morning. It took him 6 hours! 6 freakin hours! first he swore the distributor sent the wrong pieces, then he finally figured it out. Once it was all put together, he realized it was too big to fit through the doorway to the bedroom. After he tried shimmying it in a couple of times and it didn't work, he took the whole thing apart and had to put it back together. Oh he cussed and fussed, but man was it funny. Needless to say, our baby's bed looks awesome. I can't wait to see him lying it in. I'll post pictures later.

Sunday was a lounge day. We picked up the crib mattress and that was it. We also got some chinese food I had been craving and camped out while we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I woke up really nauseous again this morning but I guess it may be an early labor sign. I noticed yesterday afternoon that was feeling a little funny "down there". For a minute I thought my water broke and ran to the bathroom. Turns out it was my mucous plug coming out. It was so gross! I told Big and he freaked a little because he thought it was time. LOL. Needless to say, we chilled the rest of the day.

I feel ok so far this morning. A little anxious but I'm ok. Just ready to have this baby and keep it moving. I miss my body but at this point in the game it isn't my show. Whenever Kendall is ready to show, he will. I'll be doing some 38 week pictures today so I'll post them later.

37 week appt

Everything looks good so far. I had my doctor's appointment yesterday:

• Kendall is still head down
• Weighs over 6 pounds now
• Is at -2 station
• Dialated a cenimeter
• His heartbeat is really good
• My BP is good as well

The doctor said it could be anyday now so we're just waiting to see what happens. Considering how tonight is the full moon, who knows. At this point, I really don't care when he comes. Yesterday's appointment was rather uncomfortable. Because my cervix is still pretty high, she was reaching pretty far up in there and that crap hurt! She kept apologizing but hey, gotta do what you have to do. I finally told my aunt this morning that she is going to be Kendall's Godmother. Lord, if that woman didn't scream in the phone. LOL But I couldn't ask for anyone better to be his godmother. Now, the Godfather is another story. We're still working on that one.

I've been waking up pretty nauseous every morning. I think my toothpaste has something to do with it. This morning it seems it was more severe because I had a horrible headache too. I ate some breakfast and had a bottle of water so maybe that will help. So far I'm starting to feel a little better just a little achy and out of it.

I just realized that I haven't done any picture this week. I'll have to do some when I get home. I was thinking about going to the mall when Kanetta after work to do some walking if I can stand it. We'll see how I'm feeling. I'm just concerned about the ankle and feet swelling.

37 weeks

We've made it to 37 weeks and I feel fine. Tired as normal but ok. I honestly think I've moved past that whole, "I'm sick of being pregnant" phase are just letting things ride out. I'm still not sleeping well at night but thats a given. Still peeing every 5 minutes but that's a given too. At this point, it is what it is.

I also think my nesting urge is gone. I was thinking about buying some things for my apartment while out during lunch today. I don't need much but I do want to get a few things. I also need to put the carseat in. I keep hearing and reading about people installing it now. I guess it is that time, huh? I also plan to pick up a couple of night gowns and some loungewear while i'm out during lunch. I don't have much of that and will need something while i'm at home everyday for the first two weeks.

Speaking of being home, I really hope my mom and dad relay the message to people that I don't want visitors the first two to three weeks I'm home. Especially my family. I don't want nor do I need folks coming over there. When I come out, so will my baby. I keep saying I'm going to speak to them about that but it slips my mind. Anyway, nothing else to blog. I'll be taking some pictures this evening when I get home so I'll update this with those. Other than that, any day now....

The waiting game

Well, the furniture is all here and put together with the exception of the crib. The distributors forgot to put the screws in the box and are shipping them this week. We should have them by the weekend. I sure hope so. So, now all I have to do is finish my grocery shopping and buy some extra crib sheets. We're pretty much set at this point. I'm so ready for this kid to get here! K and I were both talking about how we want our bodies back. LOL His craving all the time is ice cream, mine is any and everything at this point. My appetite didn't pick up until the end. How crazy is that?

I spent most of last week trying to get my bills in order. I may be able to delay my car payment for two months, which would be fab, but my rent will go up. That can I deal with, but I just want to be able to eliminate at least one bill for about two to three months. I'm seriously thinking about paying $150 towards electricity for next month. Hey, one less bill to pay.

K and I still need to look into daycare options. Even though I plan to be out until the end of Sept or sometime in Oct, I need to get that stuff together. I want to send him there for at least a week prior to me returning to work so that I can get used to him being there. It's weird, but I ate this morning and have not felt him move. wait...there he goes. I was beginning to wonder....

Other than that, I think that's about it. It's the home stretch so it's just a matter of waiting. Funny that there is a full moon on Friday. I wonder if my water will break that night. LOL. I highly doubt it. This kid is not coming anytime soon.

Cervical pressure

I'm at the point now where I have to sit with my legs open. If their close together, Kendall starts kicking me and squirming so that I'll get off his head (my bad). But I've also noticed that I feel him lower than before.

*Update: the furniture is here! Yay! I can't wait to post pictures of K trying to carry it up 3 flights of stairs.

100th post!

This my 100th post! Wow. I can't believe I have that many.

Sharronica gets to go home tomorrow. She said both she and the baby are doing well. She said she feels like herself prepregnancy. I told that crazy child she better relax while she's staying with her mom so that she can get things back together. I for one will be at home doing nothing for at least 3 weeks. Maybe then I'll start to move around and get back on my feet but other than that, I'm just going to let my body heal. Heck, K will be there so he can do anything I need done around the house.

A couple of people have commented on the fact that I look like I may have dropped. I think I may have but who knows. Not really too focused on that right now anyway. All I'm waiting on is for my water to break and then we'll go from there. Which reminds me to put a towel on the bed or something. I've had some minor indigestion today and a couple of contractions, but other than that, i feel ok. Just ready to get home and chillax. I've decided that I'm going to stop by Wally World on my way home so that I don't have to bother doing it tomorrow night. This way I can spend my Friday night at home watching movies and K take that wall unit apart. *evil laugh*

On a good note, I found that I'll be having my stimulus and tax refund difference mailed out to me tomorrow (thank you Jesus!). That's much needed money for me. I'm going to make sure K puts at least $300 of into that into the high interest account he keeps raving about. We need to make some money moves for this kid ASAP. The rest will be back up money I use on bills. I was considering paying off one of my credit cards but I think I'll just take my time doing that. I don't want that money to become a crutch for me; its more like emergency cash.

Well, it looks like the rain is letting up. I'll go ahead and start packing up for home. I also need to remember to take my laptop with me today as well.

After visiting Sharronica at the hospital last night, I realized I am not ready to have this baby yet. It's not the fact of him coming, it's the labor part that I'm terrified of. K has been trying to act all cool about everything and then finally last night he admits he's scared too. WTF?! We can't both be scared about this.

I've been feeling tons of pressure down there today. I don't know if that means the baby has shifted down or what. At this point, I could careless. I mean, if its time, then its time. I'm so physically exhausted right now it's ridiculous. I did manage to pick up the carseat from a lady on the parent's listserv at work. It's really cute. Navy blue and yellow. I also need to drop off these clothes to a family in need. I won't even go into detail about how coordinating a time has been difficult. Whatever.

My ankles have been swelling like it's nobody's business. I tried to tell my mom this is getting out of control. I have a doctor's appointment next week so I'll be sure to bring that up while their swabbing all of my orficies for Group B strep. Gross. Anyway, nothing new to report other than I am so ready to go home. I was going to go by my parent's house but I don't even feel up to it. Even if I did I would just end up taking a nap over there. Which isn't so bad. Besides, I've been craving hamburger helper. Maybe my dad will make some for me.


***UPDATE***
Sharronica had the baby today at 2:21. She weighed 5 lb, 5 oz and was 18 inches long. Only took her 20 minutes of pushing and she popped out. She said she's happy but really tired. I can't blame her.

36 weeks - 9 months pregnant

I am officially 9 months pregnant today (7/8/08)and can safely give birth should the time occur. Today has been quite a day. I was slow getting up this morning. After a very restless and fitful nights sleep, I dragged into work and have been distracted all day. I got a call from my friend Sharronica around 10 telling me that her water may have broke. Girlfriend thought she peed on herself. LOL. Well, turns out her water did break and she is 6 weeks early! The doc feels everything should be ok for her. Too bad she hasn't gotten anything together for the baby yet. I went out during lunch and picked up some stuff. Poor thing is freaking out but she'll be ok.

I feel ok for the most part. Just ready to have this baby. I'm not rushing it but Lord knows that if my water decides to break, like TOMORROW, that would be just fine. LOL sike. I'd rather he wait about two more weeks.

Still have contractions in my lower back. I think part of it are contractions and the other part are just a back ache. I definitely need to go home and change shoes. These flat shoes are killing me. Well, other than that, life is grand and we're just waiting on the baby. Nothing new to report. I'll post pictures of myself today.

30 day countdown begins!

I took Thursday off. After feeling back on Wednesday, I knew I needed a day to just relax and get myself back together. I must say that after a 4 day weekend, I feel pretty good.

Had my doctor's appointment on Thursday and all is well. Kendall has finally turned head down and I have gained another 2 pounds, bringing my pregnancy weight gain to 14 pounds. Not bad. Since everything was going to so well, the doctor suggested that I come back in two weeks so they can do Group B strep testing and check for dialation. I will be 37 weeks by this appointment date.

I feel ok overall. Heavy and tired but I'm getting there. I've noticed a serious increase in swelling of my feet. To remedy this I use cold wash cloths and they work wonders. Thank goodness. Still contracting everyday, often during the middle of the night. Twice I've had them in the middle of the night and tried to wake K and he rolls over. The fool doesn't even hear me! LOL But its all good.

I had a pretty good holiday. We saw the fireworks and kicked back all weekend. I didn't want to do too much except rest all weekend and I did just that. One another note, he finally ordered the furniture! Yay! I'm so excited. I'll have to talk to him about giving him my half of the money for it. And it was the set I really wanted from Target. I guess it will be here by the week's end. Tonight's plan is to return some clothes, clean out my car and figure out when I want to go grocery shopping. I really hate cooking my apartment but at this point, I have not choice. I guess I could clean out the fridge first, huh?

The 30 day countdown starts today. Hopefully baby boy will bake until 38 weeks but we'll see. The full moon is next Thursday so we'll see what happens. Since I'm feeling pretty good I think I'll make my 50th trip to the bathroom for the day and do some work.

Feeling like crap

I feel like shyt today. I mean, seriously, I feel awful. Well, I feel slightly better since I went to the bathroom and had a BM but other than that, I'm tired and just feel bad. I've decided to take tomorrow off and just rest at home. Since I'm meeting up with the girls for pedis and and early dinner, I figure no sense in rushing. Plus I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon.

Kendall has been moving a like crazy and loves to ball up in my belly. Perhaps they can figure out what position he's in tomorrow. I'm just ready for this pregnancy to be over with already. My plan is to go grocery shopping at some point this weekend. That may have to wait until next weekend. I just don't have the energy to do it. I just want to lie around, watch tv and do nothing. Did I mention how exhausted I am? I need to remember to go by mom's tonight so she can trim my ends for me. I may just tell her to cut an inch off and even things up all the way around. My hair is starting to get on my nerves but I can't get braids yet. It's not "nappy" enough. LOL Anyway, let me get back to work. Maybe I can focus enough for the rest of the day and make it until 3:30.

My baby shower

I'm just getting around to posting some pictures from it but it was wonderful! My mom, aunt and friends really outdid themselves. It was everything I wanted my baby shower to be and more. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I'm feeling pretty swollen these days so I don't even look like myself in my pictures. Geez! I didn't know you swell everywhere when you're pregnant. Anyway, here are some pictures of the day:



I've been taking pictures every week and my friends saved them and created a photo album for it. It was soo cute!

We always do baskets for each other for gifts and they gave me a basket of goodies. It was filled with tons of books, blankets, toys and bible stories. I loved it so much!


My cake! I finally revealed baby boy's name at the shower: Kendall. Since his father's name is Kennith, and I refused for my child to be a third, we agreed on Kendall. No middle yet but it's coming!


Cutting the cake. I swear I look so swollen in this picture. Everyone kept telling me how great I looked but I felt like crap. LOL


That's my mom on the left in blue and Ken's mom on the right. You can't tell my mother she isn't a diva. LOL Both his mother and my mother have very strong Native American blood running in them so our baby is going to definitely have a "native" look to him. LOL Plus his daddy is handsome so that helps. *wink*


I had my first story published when I was 7 years old. It was called "How a rainbow came to be". It's actually in the state library back in Hawaii where I grew up. My mom kept the original story all these years, had it framed for me to hang in Kendall's room. It was touched but should have figured my mom would do something like that. She keeps EVERYTHING. LOL

_____________________________________

Well, today is July 1. Can't believe August is a month away yet I only have 36 days until my due date. Lord knows it would be great if I could make it until then but we'll see. If you leave it to everyone else, I'll be having this baby sometime between the 15 of July and the 25. I wouldn't count that out at this point. Especially not the way I've been having contractions.

Anyway, I think K finally ordered the furniture on sunday. He asked if that was what I wanted and I said yes. I need to remember to give him the $100 gift card for Target so that we can save some money on it. Hey, a little bit goes a long way.

I had another contraction last night around 2:30 am. It was pretty intense. I couldn't even move to grab the phone if I needed to. At this point its just a matter of anyday now. Myfriend Lex and his girlfriend Shay had their baby yesterday. Her water broke about 9 something and she delivered at 11:47. I'm so jealous! I hope my delivery is short but I have a feeling this boy is going to make a scene. He will be either a Leo or a Cancer so we'll see.

Only thing left to pick up is are some extra crib sheets and probably something for that bassient. Speaking of which I need to get it out of my house asap. I guess it can go to K's house.

False Alarms - Again

Had another false alarm Friday night that brought me to my knees. It last for an hour and let me tell you, that pain is no joke. I had two last night in the middle of the night that woke me up out of my sleep. Then this morning at work I had one. To top it all off, my friend Alexis emails me and tells me that his girlfriend's water broke. *gasp* He was running out of the office as we spoke to get to her and then the hospital. I pray she has a safe delivery and healthy baby. I'm sure the baby will be here before the day is over.

Other than that, I feel ok. Just tired all the time again. I feel like I just need to go home and go to bed. I keep trying to do so much yet it's exhausting. I know I shouldn't but hey, things have to get done one way or another.

*sidenote: Lex just texted me and said Shay is at 6cm and that the baby should be here in the next two hours! Wow!*

I'm not sleeping too good at night now. I feel so out of breath, like the wind keeps getting knocked out of me. K kept askign if I was ok, but I had such an attitude with him. I'm just really uncomfortable right now. I wasn't too uncomfortable to get some this morning though. *wink wink* Hey, I'm trying to fit in all I can before I can't do this for 6-8 weeks. LOL

I guess K is going to start staying with me more often since the time is nay. He left is Xbox and some other stuff at my place. I know that guy doesn't travel without that sucker so I know he'll be back. I hate that I'm kinda tettering him off track from getting his stuff done but at the same time this is his child too and he has some sacrifices to make as well. At this point I'm just all about planning and make sure we have everything. Speaking of everything, I'll have to remember to buy an extra set of crib sheets and something for that bassinet. Well, let me get out of here and run out for lunch. Got some errands to run so that I can go straight home today.

False Alarm

Thursday morning around 2am, I woke up with bad back pain. I thought it was just from sleeping in the wrong position so I got on the sofa. That didn't help and I didn't think anything of it. All day yesterday I had the same pains at work and didn't think anything of it. Walking around seemed to help but every now and then I would get hit with a pain that would make me stop. My mom called that afternoon and I was describing the pain to her. Kendall had moved into a knot and was poking out the front of my stomach. She said it sounded like lower back pain and false labor and that I should call the doc.

I stayed on the phone with a nurse for about 20 minutes and had 2 more contractions. They told me to come in and hooked me up to a monitor. Turns out I was having real contractions! They gave me a shot of something to stop them and monitored me for another half hour. The contractions stopped but I was bit out of it for the rest of the day. Poor K. I called him when I got on the phone with the nurse and he was a bit bugged out because he thought it was time. I did too but I knew it couldn't have been. He insisted on coming over last night and stayed with me but I woke up with contractions this morning again. Nothing too bad but managable.

Reality certainly hit me yesterday that the time is emminent because that was the real deal. I'm a little freaked and afraid but if it's time, I can't stop it. Perhaps this will motivate him to order the furniture and get things cracking. My plan is to wait until next weekend and do my grocery shopping but I'm certainly going to pick up the other things I need in the meantime.

34 weeks

I forgot to post yesterday due to a crazy work day. We've made it to 34 weeks. My bags and Kendall's bags are packed and in the car. We just need to order the furniture and put the carseat in and we're set. I'm so ready for the kid to get here.

I had my baby shower on Saturday and it was fabulous. My friends and my mom did a great job with decoratin and conducting everything. I couldn't have asked for a better day to welcome my child into the world. I have tons of pictures but K has my camera cord so I'll post them later. My surprised me by giving me a print out the book I wrote when I was 7 years old to hang in Kendall's room. I thought that was really sweet. I got tons of presents and spent the rest of the weekend unpacking them. I finally got all his clothes washed and put away for the time being. I'm still up in the air about this apartment thing right now though. I would love to move somewhere bigger but I want to save money and I keep hearing that the baby sleeps in your room more in one year anyway. No sense in useless space. I will, however, pack up some more my clothes in the closet.

I took a few belly shots yesterday in my nightgown. LOL I need to do one where you can actually see my stomach and tell what's there. I may do that tonight but it would be great to camera cord back from K so I can send out my pictures.

Lately I've been suffereing from nausea and fatigue like it's nobody's business. I have to start my day with ginger ale and go from there. I thought maybe I was dehydrated but I eat pretty regularly and pretty well. Not sure what's up with that. I have a few more purchases to make for Kendall today and then we should be set in terms of being ready for him. Still no breast pump yet but I'll take care of that myself this week. Well, let me get some work done and then go outside during lunch. Maybe it will make me feel better.

Day before the baby shower

Well, 24 hours from now I will be the guest of honor at my baby shower. My mom's side is on the road as we speak, K's family is due to arrive either late tonight or early tomorrow morning and the food is all taken care of. I will be spending the evening at home resting and watching Love Jones. Actually I need to go out and buy some things for my kitchen but I'll take care of that later. Today is all about resting.

K called last night sounding like he was extremely tired. Updated him on the doctor's appointment. I've gained 3 pounds, bringing my total weight gain to 11 pounds, Kendall is estimated to weigh about 4.5 close to 5 now, and he's still breech. Yea, I got me a breech baby but I have a feeling he may turn soon. I'm not going to worry if the docs aren't worried.I go back on July 3 and then I start going every week. She said that they will do an US of his positioning by the next appointment. I'm going to see if K wants to go to the appointment or wait for another one as we get closer. I have to give him that, he's really been there for all the others early on. The once a month's I excuse him from because all I do is pee in a cup, get measured and leave.

Well, let me do some work before I get out of here for the day. I'm heading straight to my mom's to make some pasta salad for this party.

33 weeks appt

Had my appointment today and it went really well. I've gained another 3 pounds, bringing my total pregnancy weight gain to 11 pounds. Not bad, not bad at all. She estimated that baby boy is weighing just around 4.5 pounds, or a little more. He's doing well; strong heartbeat and all. She able to tell me which position he was in and turns out he's still breech with his back to my side. I have one more two-week appointment scheduled for July 3 and then I'll start seeing them every week. Yikes! I guess its really close now.

Mentally I feel ok. Still haven't some worries about delivery and recovery but I'm sure everything will be fine. It seems I'm the only person worried about that but I guess that's normal. Right?

My friends and I did my belly cast last night. It was a funny experience. Imagine standing topless, slathered in vaseline in your girlfriend's kitchen while 3 of them plaster you. Yea, quite a memorable experience. But here's a picture of the actual cast:

It's pretty cool. I can't wait until we've decided on a name for him and I can decorate it to hang it in his bedroom. Well, our bedroom.

I've pretty much finished everything for the baby shower. I just need to figure out what I'm going to wear and do my hair tonight. My family should be arriving in town tonight and I'm not sure when K's family is getting here. Since my grandmother will be here all weekend, I would love to do something with both the families combined. Again, this is contigent on what other plans he may have for his family. I need to talk to my parents about this tomorrow night anyway.

Other than that, life is grand and there's always more to come. Let me get back to work.

33 weeks

I'm 33 weeks today. Apparently baby boy should weigh about 4.5 pounds now and be 19 inches long. Geez, this kid is long! LOL I feel pretty good. Definitely starting to feel his weight. Heavy, heavy, heavy. I'm still walking and trying to get in as much exercise as possible.

The baby shower is a few days off. I'm going to order the cake today, balloons and pick up some stuff for Sheena for the favors. I also need to start preparing my thank you cards and such. I bought all the girls thank you gifts yesterday so that's taken of. I don't have much money so I just got everyone a necklace and card. I wish I could do more but I'm still waiting on a stimulus check they claim I'm going to get. Whatever.

Tomorrow night the girls and I are doing my belly cast. I think this is so cool. One of these days when Kendall has his own room I will hang it up in there. I also wanted K and I to take pictures of me during my pregnancy. I guess I'll have to bring this up to him asap seeing how I'm going to drop this kid soon, like next month.

I was talking to my friend Sharronica the other night and she said she's gained 20 pounds so far! Wow! I thought I was really doing something with my 8.5 weight gain for my whole pregnancy but hey, that works! I have my doctor appointmet on Thursday and should see how I'm weighing then.

Other than that, nothing much to report. Next week is 34 weeks and 8.5 months. Hard to believe that in just 2 more weeks after that I'll be full term. Wow. I just hope baby boy stays up in there until at least week 38. We dont't have anyplace for him to sleep. Speaking of which I'm not sure what the hell is going on with K about ordering this furniture. *rolling eyes* I won;t start this argument today but I'm getting anxious.

I also need to talk to my apartment complex to find out what they are doing about rent. I need to figure out if I need to move or what. Just so much to do and I don't feel like he's taking it serious and trying to help me at all. :(

Well, let me check into this furniture and see what happens.

K and I attended breastfeeding school on Saturday. It was actually quite informative and I feel a little better about trying to bf. I mentioned earlier that had some anixety about it but I think that's only natural. I definitely want to try and do it for as long as I can.

K was so great last night. He massaged my back and even took the polish off my toenails for me. Lord knows I really appreciated that. I even gave him his first father's day gift. It was a record player and some albums. I'm sure he'll spend the rest of the week trying to figure that thing out.
Hell, after as much I paid for it, he better use it! LOL

I'm feeling great these days. The heat some days is a bit unbearable, I feel a little heavy and I'm just moving slower, but other that I'm great. I feel as though I'll miss being pregnant once it's all over. ;( I keep trying to remind myself to enjoy the time now and certainly plan to enjoy the time the baby and I spend on maternity leave. I'm just hoping and praying he doesn't come too early. Let's get him to at least 38 weeks and we'll go from there.

the baby shower is this Saturday. K's family is due to arrive either Friday night or early Saturday morning. From what he told me their going to get a hotel room out by me since it's closer to the shower. Plus we'll all be able to go to my parent's house and spend time there. I'm really excited about the shower because things are really getting real. Not much longer now. Maybe K will go ahead and order the damn furniture. *rolling eyes*. He really thinks someone is going to give us $200 to get this stuff. Whatever. You're crazy as hell. I'm not going to put my faith in anyone to give me that kind of cash for this. But NEWAY, I will do what I have to do in the interim. I do plan to buy another playpen and see he wants to do about that swing. Just so much to do in so little time.

Well, let me get back to work and update my registry one last time before people start buying stuff. 33 weeks tomorrow!

Can't sleep

It's just after midnight here and I can't sleep. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I can't rest. I would love to be in slumber land but I can't seem to get my mind to ease. I can't say that I have any pregnancy related stress on my mind, although I do have some personal issues on my mind that are kinda of bothering me. I haven't talked to K all week, unless via email counts, and I've barely spoken to my friends either. I guess I just needed some space from everyone. This week depression has been really bad for me.

I was talking to a girlfriend about "the confrontation" of 07. I just keep wondering what's going to happen to me after this baby is here. I know K is here now but can I count on him to want to make things right between us and we try to be a family? One of my blogger friends said that if a man tells you something, believe him because that's just how and who he will be. Part of me hates to think that I will fall into that single parent realm, and the other part of me hopes and prays that one day having a real family will work. I just hate seeing children who go through life with weekend custody and not having both parents there. I just really hate that. I guess I should have thought of that before getting pregnant, huh? LOL. I don't regret ending up pregnant, actually I'm quite happy about it. I just hate the circumstances surrounding my life before the pregnancy.

I've been suffering from boughts of loneliness. It's hard at this point trying to do everything on my own. I'm trying to clean, move stuff, get ready for the baby and physically, it's hard. It's to the point now that even bending down hurts. I hate going through this alone. I can only go to my parents house so many times and I can only blog so many times, and I can only complain to my girlfriends so many times. I just want to feel some sense of relief as my personal life is concerned. On days when things are good, their great; and other days their mediocre. Maybe it's all hormonal. I won't rule that. Maybe this week has just been a rut and will be get better. Yea, that's it. It's just been a rutty week. On that note, I think I'll go to Quiktrip and get a slushy drink.

32 weeks (8 months)

Well, we've made it to 32 weeks safely. Thank you Jesus. I'm pretty excited at this point because in 3 more weeks I could safely deliver if baby boy was ready to come out (which I'm hoping he's not). I feel pretty good. My feet tend to swell now so I have no shoes that fit. I have a job interview tomorrow and I do hope that they aren't turned off from my belly. I just hope they see me as a great candidate for the position.

I took some pictures today and plan to post them up tomorrow when I get in the office. I'm kinda tired and want to take a nap but I at least wanted to blog about the fact that we've made it this far. Not much longer to go from here. Let's just stay prayful that baby boy doesn't come until he's past 36 weeks.

Doctor's appt today

I have my doctor's appointment today. I feel ok except for some minor hand and feet swelling and a touch of nausea. Nothing to major but I'm sure she'll notice it too when I'm there today. I plan is to begin discussing my birth plan with her. I want to make sure she knows how and where I stand on things. I haven't really consulted with K on much but I'm sure he's ok with whatever I say.

I took a nap yesterday when I got home and finally got up and did some cleaning. I went to bed around 10:20 and could not fall asleep. I don't know why but this kid wanted to kick all freaking night. I was so exhausted and not to mention my bladder was going to explode by 4:30. I hate waking up then becaus I know my alarm will go off about 6 but I won't get out of bed until 6:15-6:20. I'm so ready to start maternity leave already! Let me have a little break and just kick back or something!

I found a daycare center right around the corner from my house. They've been building it for a while and I think they finally opened. It's $5 more than the other place but it's closer to home. I'm going to stop by soon (hopefully K can make it with me) and see what their about.

I suppose I'm nesting again because I was cleaning out my closet and organizing Kendall's stuff last night. I don't have much but I'm starting to acquire things on a weekly basis. My next purchase will be for a piggy bank for him. I want to have something we can contribute to each week. K is already talking about buying the boy a car at age 15. I'm not big on teenage drivers but K said this was not up for discuss. Umpf! We'll see about that... I swear this guy thinks he can make whatever decisions about this kid as if he's not half mine too. Whatever.

My plan for lunch today is to go out to Target and pick up a few things. I don't need much but I do want to get some stuff for the house. Plus it gives me a chance go walking. I might even stop by the ice cream shop and getting some ice cream. Oooohhhh, that sounds yummy. I also want to get some shelves to put up in my living room tonight to spruce it up. Between that and some curtains, it should really start to come together. I also need to do something about those movies and things I have under the wall unit. Again, another project I'll work on tonight while I'm doing laundry and watching the Lakes vs Celtics game.

Not much else to blog about. Just ready for Kendall to get here. Oh! I would like to say that loudmouth on the otherside of the wall from me has been rather quiet so far today. She had a minor setback this morning but for the most part she's learning to just shut up. Thank goodness!

31 weeks

We made it to 31 weeks. I feel ok today except from a pulling or stretching sensation on the sides of my stomach. I actually noticed it last night in bed when I rolled over. Like I pulled a muscle. I have to keep reminding myself to take it easy since my stomach and uterus are stretching to accomodate the kid.

I've gotten some more emails from people saying they received their invitations in the mail. Hard to believe that it's almost that time. Last night I actually started packing my bag for the hospital. I was thinking about running out for lunch today to buy a new nightgown and other stuff for my bag. I still need to pack the baby's stuff as well. I'll get to this little by little. My goal today is is to get rid of all the stuff in my hall closet and it out in the storage closet. I'll have my brothers come by today and help me with that.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday so I'll address any concerns then. I also need to speak with my midwife about my birth plan as well. Other than that, all is well.

After the weekend

I had a great weekend. K and I went out of town to visit his family. His mother and everyone else fussed over me all weekend. LOL It was really sweet but a bit much at times. They didn't want me lifting a finger, as if I would really sit still. We got in town late last night. We were both dog-tired and passed the heck out...well, not immediately ;) All I plan to do tonight is wash my hair and rest while watching House. Everything else will have to wait for later this week. My car needs a good wash and to be cleaned out in the worst way but I don't think I have the energy to do that today.

Tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks. Still no progress made on the furniture purchase yet. I suppose K will wait until after the baby shower however, I would prefer we have it now and not wait. Anyway, I'm not going to stress it. I'll let him handle this stuff. The invitations for the shower have been sent. Thank goodness some people have already received theirs. Now we just have to pay the rest on the building and finalize decorations. I guess my mom, Estelle and I will get together on this later.

I'm struggling to stay awake here at work. I got some last minute work that came in and will try to take care of it first thing in the morning. That's just the way it goes on a Monday. I have another doctor's appointment on Thursday and then we have that class on Saturday. I guess I'll head over to K house late Friday night or early Saturday morning. The class starts at 9 so we have to be on time. *sigh* Things just got really real.

30 week photos

I had my 13 year old brother take pictures for me today. I normally do it myself but I was at my parents house and figured what the heck. Saves me the energy from having to prop things up at home. Anyway, here are the pictures. I'm heading out of town tomorrow to visit K's family.