My Mommyhood Journey

Pee pee in the potty!

2010-06-08T12:54:00.003-04:00

Baby K is now 22 months on and only June 4, while at daycare, he pee pee'd in the potty for the first time. I screamed when his teacher told me. I am so proud of my little guy. Next up to get him some more training pants and get him on the potty more at home. He's put on there 4 times a day at school so I need to do the same thing at home. He's definitely talking up a storm now and all kinds of fun. He's still not quite sleeping through the night and I'm not sure how to combat that one. I'm considering changing his bed back into the crib but he loves to climb stuff and I know for a fact he will climb out of that bed. I just know it. he's done it before.

Now that we are quickly approaching two I have finally gotten around to painting his bedroom in our new house. It's Carolina Blue but a little bit lighter. I'm going with a Toy Story theme for his bedroom so gone are the animals. :=( I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast! It makes me long for another one but I think I'll wait until I have the same last night as someone if you catch my drift.

We're gearing up for his dad's family reunion next month. I haven't been formally asked to go but I assume since my child will be there, I will be there. I'm sorry but I'm not comfortable with letting him go off somewhere. Nope. Not happening. I am excited that he gets to meet and see this other side of his family. Shoot, there are folks his dad probably doesn't know. LOL Either way, we'll be in Mississippi in July for that and back in Mississippi in November for Thanksgiving since we didn't go last year. All in all, things are starting to come together for us.

19 months old

2010-03-08T14:10:00.003-05:00

My handsome son is now 19 months old and such a lady killer! Let me update you on his latest antics:

He is still obessed with Italian food. Spaghetti, pizza, you name it. He loves it!
We are starting potty training and I feel like a failure because I can't seem to get him to go. Sigh. I'll keep trying.
His sleep habits are the worst! He does so well at school but at home, he wakes up at least twice during the night for juice or to get in bed with me. I don't get it. I've tried letting him cry it out but I can't deal with screaming at that hour.
He climbed out of his crib a few months ago so his crib is now converted to a toddler bed. We moved it into my bedroom so hopefully that will help him when it comes to sleeping.
He LOVES to fix things around the house. If he sees a hammer or screwdriver, he insists in helping with whatever it is that is being repaired.
He LOVES to call his Uncle TJ's name. He swears everyone is TJ and lights up when he sees him.
He's learned to jump from the step stool onto the bed and loves to walk on the coffee table. I have the protypical little boy.

Other than that, things are going good. I did get a report from his teacher that he likes to beat up on the littles girls but mommy will have to change all of that. We don't want any Ike Turners up in my house. Speaking of my house, now that I'm a homeowner, he is having a ball with all the space that is available. I love to watch him run freely around the house. K and I are still talking about taking him to Disney next year. I'm pretty excited about it. Hopefully we can get both sides of the family to come along for it too. It will be a GREAT family vacation.

I'm loving being a mother though I must admit I AM EXHAUSTED! So why do I still long for yet another child? LOL K will be 3 next year and I wanted to have another child around that time. Lest we not forget that I am not married so being married by then would be an added bonus for another baby. LOL Let me stop kidding myself. K will probably be my only one and guess what? I'm going to spoil him rotten.

13 months old

2009-09-29T12:03:00.003-04:00

Since my last post was unfortunately deleted, I am going to attempt this again. Hello all! Here are with Kendall approaching 14 months old on October 4. I can't begin to describe how fast he's grown and how much I am in love with him. Sure times are trying (still not sleeping the whole night sometimes, biting now, a little bossy and VERY much stubborn) but he's still the best thing to ever happen to me.

Tonight K and I are taking him to his first Braves game. I am sooooo excited! I have his little Braves outfit all together and ready to go. I need to get a Braves t-shirt for myself to wear to the game. I am too ready for this.

We are almost completely done with bottles. I still give him one in the middle of the night but I'm trying to get away from that. In terms of sleeping, it varies. Some night's he will sleep the whole night, other nights he's all over the place with waking up a couple of times a night. I'm not sure what else I could do to help him get on a better sleep rountine. Right now he starts to get tired around 8 and is usually knocked out by 8:30. I've been trying to keep him up until 9 so that he will sleep a little longer at night. I don't know. I feel like I'm doing something wrong but my mom says every child is different and that I just have to take it in stride. I'm taking in stride losing sleep, and he's getting all of his ALL.THE.TIME. so not fair. LOL

Other than that, mommyhood is grand. Can't wait to have another baby in about two years. Hopefully I'll be married by then so we'll see.

Catching up

2009-09-15T08:47:00.003-04:00

I had a really long catching up post but Blogger is acting stupid and it was erased. :( I guess this is the start of a new beginning for me.

3 months later....11.5 months old

2009-07-16T13:21:00.002-04:00

OMG I can't believe it's been since April since I've blogged about Kendall. OMG. LOL i'm so embarassed. So much has happened in the past 3 months I don't know where to begin.

1. He now says 'mama' 'dada' and 'baba'. Yes, my baby is starting to speak.
2. he has two teeth at the bottom. Just too adorable.
3. He is walking! He took his first steps on Mother's Day and has been full-fledge walking since Father's day. We are so proud!
4. he is using the sippy cup more but still the occassional bottle. Just can't seem to get away from that thing yet.
5. His sleeping habits have changed again. he was sleeping through the night, now he's up and down all night. Must be another growth spurt.
6. He is on tablefood and loving it! forget that baby food. My boy likes real food. Especially spaghetti.

There is so much more but I can't remember it all. I do, however, have it all written in his baby book. His first birthday is coming up. Amazing how this time last year, I was still at work wondering if and when he would show since I only had 3 weeks left until my due date. Now, we are planning his first birthday. Awwww! Being a mother has been such a wonderful experience so far. I love it! He truly is the best thing to ever happen to me. I have never been more in love with someone than I am with him. I can't wait to have more kids and have a chance to play with all of them and share the love. My cousin Phadrae really touched my heart on the 4th of July when she told me that she remembers when they were trying to teach me how to walk and now, I'm teaching my son. she said that she always knew I would be and are a great mother. How sweet is that? I love her.

I'm definitely going to make an effort to update this blog at least once a month since Kendall is growing up so fast! I miss being pregnant. Yea, I said it. I miss being pregnant but I know that one day soon, I'll be going through again and it will be just a magical.

8 months old and counting

2009-04-16T13:47:00.003-04:00

OMG I can't believe it's been a few months since I've updated this thing. Kendall is now pulling up, crawling all over the place and just being a big boy. He just turned 8 months old on April 4 and I am crazy in love with him! Not only is he a busy body but he is eating up some food. My goodness I started giving him table food and he has lost his mind. I can't seem to keep him away from the table. Baby food is probably obsolete at this point but that's ok. Whatever my little prince wants.

He isn't quite talking yet but lots of babbling. his favorite word is "ba ba ba". And man, his has the biggest smile ever! he definitely gets that from me.

Other than that, things are getting. i'm still struggling to lose some pregnancy weight. It seems right after having Kendall the weight was falling off but now my body has settled into this gain mode and I can't seem to stop it. LOL Nonetheless, I'm getting better about eating right and doing what I need to do.

5 months old

2009-01-07T14:34:00.002-05:00

Can you tell I've been enjoying a new mother? LOL I haven't blogged since just before Thanksgiving. Well let's catch up:

Kendall is now 5 months old. We tried cereal for the first time last night and he didn't particularly care for it. I'm going to keep trying though and maybe he'll take some of it. He is, however, rolling over and pushing up on his hands really well. I'm so excited about that.

Thanksgiving was spent in Mississippi with his dad's family. We had a nice time. This was their first time seeing him since I delivered him back in August. His grandmother and aunts fussed all over him and we took them pictures of him that we took.

December brought lots of hoopla and madness with my family. We were here in Atlanta and had an exhausting week. We took tons of pictures, those I will have to add later because there are so many. What a time we had! My baby's first Christmas. I think I was more excited than anyone. LOL We spent two days before returning to work in the house just recovering in the peace and quiet.

Right now, I'm just enjoying being a mother. I can't wait to have a couple more kids. I hate that Kendall is another only child right but I know I'll be married in about two years and pregnant again, and boy am I looking forward to it.

His father and I are doing ok. We have a great friendship and parenting relationship going on. Kendall knows he loves his daddy because he gets so excited when he sees him. I think he's now in tuned to his schedule and when he will be there. I hate that can't be there every night but we make do where we do. Can't do anything about it other than try.

Well that's about it for now. I'm just enjoying being a mother and looking forward to taking him to the beach, the aquarium and the zoo for the first time this year. And not to forget his first birthday. That party will be great!

Reflections

2008-11-24T11:22:00.002-05:00

I was looking back over my past posts and I am amazed at how much things have changed. Wow. Not only has it been almost a year that I started this blog but my world, my life is completely different. There was posts when I didn't think I would be able to make through a day, and others when I was so grateful for my friends and family. There were days when K was the best guy ever and others when he was a complete jerk and I almost didn't give our son his last name. Wow. That terms about sums it all up...wow.

Kendall is now 15 weeks and will be 16 weeks next week. Apparently I was counting wrong my son's weeks start over on the 4th of each month. who knew! Thank goodness for friends that know this stuff. Either way my baby is growing like a weed and I am totally in love with him. Kendall truly is my world and I find myself ready to have another baby so that he can have a playmate. Am I crazy? Maybe. Will it be anytime soon? Nope. I would love to be married when I have another child and can't wait to share this experience all over again with my husband. But of course I wouldn't change anything that happened with Kendall for the nothing.

15 weeks old

2008-11-21T10:57:00.001-05:00

I can’t believe my baby turned 15 weeks old on Monday, November 17. Geez time is flying by and I don’t want him to grow up so fast. He is now sleeping longer through the night. Not quite the whole night but he does wake up at least once and goes right back to sleep after a bottle. We’re still dealing with his congestion although it isn’t too bad. I can’t quite say it’s a cold but I think its just from the temp changing. I’ve been letting him sleep with me the past couple of nights since it’s been cold plus I haven’t wanted to sleep alone. J I’ve missed cosleeping and may start back. Especially on nights his daddy doesn’t spend the night.

Kendall is also rolling over sometimes and holding his head up really good. I’ve made sure I give him lots of tummy time so he can play practice with that. Sometimes I’ll put him on his back so he can play on his activity mat but he doesn’t care much for that sometimes either. LOL. I’ve been meaning to get him a new one but we’ll probably save that for someone to get him that for Christmas. Thanksgiving is next week and we’ll be spending it in Mississippi with K’s family. This will be Kendall’s first long car ride and an interesting trip. 4 hours plus a time change when we get there? My poor baby’s internal clock is going to be all off. He’ll probably go to bed earlier since he won’t be used to that time change. Plus I don’t want K’s mother spoiling him and messing up a good routine I have with him. Folks need to remember that Kendall spends 90% of his time with me. I don’t want to mess up something that works in my home.

Good news! The pastor of my grandmother’s church will be dedicating Kendall in January! Yay! I’m so excited and happy. I’ve really wanted to get this done and finally have someone to do it. The question now is how supportive his father will be of that. If he doesn’t want to, fine, but I’m still going do it. I’ve already spoken with Kendall’s godparents (Kelly and Estelle) about this and they fully support it. So I need to order his invitations and all that.

Well, that’s about it for us. We’re going to spend Friday night decorating the Christmas tree I plan to pick up

3 months old - First Halloween

2008-11-02T16:59:00.003-05:00

I am really behind on posting but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Kendall is now 3 months old. I can't believe how much time has flown by. My baby is growing up. He celebrated his first Halloween this past Friday. My little pumpkin was a pumpkin. LOL

I had to take him to the doctor the other day. Turns out there was recall on Carter's clothing and75% of his clothes are Carter's. Luckily he wasn't being affected by the rash due to the clothes but he does have ecezma. The doctor gave me some steriod cream to put on him so it should clear up soon.

Still not sleeping through the night although he will sleep about 5 hours straight. This is pretty good considering he's not on cereal yet. No sir. He is trying to pull his upper body up and lifts his legs up pretty high. My baby is growing up so fast! I've been using Aveeno on his skin and its making quite a difference. I love how clear it's getting. I'm using it on me as well and I've noticed a difference.

We're doing ok on our rountine. He's usually in bed by 9 something, up at 2 or 3 for a bottle and back up at 615 or so. We got a pretty good rountine going, now if we can just get him to sleep through the night...

THere are some days when it's hard to do this by myself but other days I manage. No one said being a single parent would be easy but I do love being a mother despite anything. He's the best thing I've ever done. I had other pictures to post but I have tons to do around the house while he's taking his evening nap.

10 weeks old

2008-10-14T12:26:00.005-04:00

Kendall is now 10 weeks old. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. Just the other day he was sleeping all day along and I was able to get things done, now he's wide awake for two plus hours and wants to be entertained. Where did the time go? Where did my newborn go? He's officially an infant now.

Of course his latest is rolling over constantly and holding his head up with no problem. He also still loves to stand up. Wow. the other day I started to get a craving for another baby. Can you believe that? I miss being pregnant and enjoyed it up until I was 37 weeks. By then I was just big and miserable. LOL. Nonetheless, Kendall will have a brother or sister in another year or two; preferably two. Hopefully I'll be married by then and can make that possible.

Last night was a rough night because he did not want to go to bed but he finally passed out close to midnight. I didn't even realize K was gone home by then. We're going to visit my grandma this Saturday. I'm so excited! The whole family will be there. I can't wait. She's so excited about seeing him so I know he's going to get passed around with no problem. *sigh* K is going. I just don't feel comfortable making that 2 hour roadtrip by myself. That's just too far with a 10 week old. Well, since there's nothing else to report, I'll post some updated pictures of baby boy.

2008-10-08T10:32:00.002-04:00

Kendall is now 9 weeks old and in daycare. His first day was rough for me. I only called the daycare once and went by to visit once. It's getting a little better. Considering how I'm returning to work tomorrow (Thursday), I will distracted during the day. Tjank goodness for web viewing though.

We're getting better at our sleep patterns. When he wakes up, I change him, give him a bottle and burp him and he's out all in 15-20 minutes. I would say that's pretty good considering he's 9 weeks old. He's also smiling and laughing more. He's even focusing in on me more than before. There are still some instances when it seems like he's not but he' s getting there. The doctor said that was all normal.

As for me, all that baby weight I lost seems to have come back. *sigh* I know part of it is me being lazy which is why I've been changing my eating habits. Of course it all starts there but I'm working on it. I have no choice but to. I figure when we get home int he evenings while he's napping, I'll exercise with Tae-bo. Now, Im saying this but I need to commit to doing it.

K went back home. WEll, we actually had a little spat but he ended staying at home so now it's just me and Kendall. I'm a little sad but I'm not going to fight with him or beg him to see his child. This is how it is going to be and I can't do anything about it. Anyway, I'm a little depressed about it but I'll get over it. It's all about me and Kendall now. We have our routine and it's been working out great.

I'm dreading returning to work tomorrow. The bills have to be paid but man I hate being on-cal 24 hours a day. Hence the reason I am diligently looking for a new job. Momma has to be home with her baby more and not be worried about calls in the middle of the night.

It's funny that I've been spending sometime over at MDC's Single Parents forum. Most of the people are there are beginning to date and I can't even imagine doing something like that. Me, dating? Please! my focus is Kendall. He's my date and we're together everyday. His dad is supposed to come over on Thursday and it is then that we will have the talk about visitation and how we're going to work all of that. I need a routine and something confirmed. And if he's planning to stay home all the time, I definitely need my key back.

Halloween is right around the corner and I need to figure out this picture thing. Doesn't look like he will be doing him until he's 3months old so that'sin November. I still want to do his Christening but I'm not sure how I'm going to do this. *sigh* this sucks. Oh well. I'll figure it out because that's what mothers do.

8 weeks old

2008-09-30T19:11:00.002-04:00

We have hit a definite milestone: my baby is 8 weeks old now! I can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday my water broke and we were rushing to the hospital. Now I have a two month old who is rolling over. Yes, I said it, he is rolling over. This morning I noticed that went I looked over in his crib he was pushing up on his arms and rolled right on over. I put him back on his belly and he did it again. Where is the time going?

We also have some sleep issues. Well, not major issues but things.For one, he sleeps most of the day and doesn't want to go to bed until midnight each night. Naturally this isnt going to work because I go back to work next week! But hey, he's still a baby so I'll just have to deal with it. Tomorrow morning I'm going to practice getting us both up and ready early in the morning. I'm not sure if K is going to be staying here after next week so the extra help will be great but what will I do when he starts staying at his place? As a matter of fact, he's getting up with Kendall tonight. I plan to rest all I can.

The other issue is with the bed. Kendall has gottenmuch better about sleeping in his crib. I put his bassinet up in storage so he has no choice but to sleep there but at around 6 am, he refuses to go back to sleep unless he's in the bed with me. I'm really trying to break that habit but we'll keep working on it. He'll just have to get used to being there.

I really hate that I'm going back to work next week. Technically I can take another 3 weeks but I need to get back because we have some serious hospital bills to take care of. It seems everytime I turn around I've gotten a new bill. My goal was to buy a house by next year but I don't see that happening. Between my credit cards ($2500) and my hospital bill ($2000), I pretty much plan to use my tax return to get rid of the remaining balance of these. Keep your fingers crossed we can work this out.

I haven't been doing so well on the weight loss. Sure I look great but I have pre-pregnancy weight that I want to lose. Just 15 pounds. It's very possible but I'm just not committing like I should which is totally my fault. I plan to work on that immediately this week. I did, however, go out and buy a scale. Something much needed to get this cracking on the weight loss. Bikini here I come! I'm going to take to K about us doing a family weekend getaway to Savannah with my parents in the spring. I think it would be nice because kendall can go to the beach for the first time.

His appetite has increased. Where he was drinking about 3-4oz, he is now up to 6 oz in one feeding! What a little chunky monkey I have. I stopped breastfeeding about a month ago but I'm looking into relactation and trying to start back. I know it will be difficult but I would really love to do it. Fingers crossed it works out.

Well, that's about all to report now. We're going to try and do an 8 week old photoshot here at home tonight. I'll be posting pictures soon. Did Imention that he loves to stand up now? My dad and K have now started him with standing. Whenever he gets fussy, I stand him up and get coos and smiles away. Lord have mercy! LOL

7 weeks

2008-09-22T22:44:00.006-04:00

Well, Kendall turned 7 weeks old today. And let me just say, my child is freaking amazing. Not only is he holding his head up really well, but he's also starting to stand. He loves to stand up and look around. It's just amazing to me. I can't believe he's already trying to do that.

Finally broke down and did some winter shopping for him. Now that the weather is changing and he'll be starting daycare in two weeks, we needed to get him some little jackets and sweaters. Geez, daycare? I am so not ready for that. I can't believe how fast time is going by. I'm dreading going back to work. I love spending everyday with him. We'll still be doing that, just the time will be tighter since we both have to get up early in the morning.

Speaking of which, K is still spending the night here every night. I think I'm going to suggest he stay home one night so that I can see how things go by myself. I love having him here but I need to get used to doing this on my own. Pretty much now he's here every night and I take Kendall to see my parents on the weekend. The plan was actually for K to watch him while I'm out with the girls on Saturday night but I'm thinking I'll take him to my parent's house instead. They only get to see he on the weekend so at least one over-nighter a month is due. I'm sure K won't mind an evening alone anyway.

Now that I'm not breastfeeding anymore and he's on formula, I've noticed more bowel movements or constipation on his part. Something I need to make sure I mention at his next doctor's appointment, although they keep telling me it's ok. Even my mom says its normal. Well, let me get to clipping coupons. With a baby in the house, I'm on a serious budget until I return to work.

6 weeks old

2008-09-16T17:20:00.002-04:00

Kendall turned 6 weeks old yesterday. I still can't get over how fast time is flying by and how much he's grown. He can hold his head up pretty good, loves to stand up and can't get enough of you holding him. We're still working on this sleep thing. I've learned that he loves to sleep on his belly. I know i'm not supposed to put him on there, but I do it for a while so that he can get some good rest. It seems to work because he'll sleep for 2 hours that way, if I don't interupt and turn him over.

I went by his future daycare yesterday to make sure everything was in order. I have all his information except for his immunization record, which will be done on Oct 3. I'm so nervous about his first day. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself that day other than come back home and sleep for a few hours before going out to do whatever errands I need to do.

I'm really trying to work on this fitness thing. due to my c-section, I have that pouch at the bottom of my stomach. *sigh* I need to do better about exercising but that's my plan for tonight. I can't just let myself go like this. I really want to have it together for the holiday coming up.

Saturday will be the first time I leave Kendall and Ken alone for an extended period of time. I'm going to get my hair done at Kanetta's house. I'm a little nervous but it won't be for a long time. I suppose I should get used to those two being together. I'm just not up for the overnight stays yet. Nope, not yet. Ken is still working on this father thing so we'll have to see how that goes for him.

Other than that, everything is great. Just loving being a mother and adjusting to live with a a baby.

Colic

2008-09-09T05:35:00.002-04:00

Kendall is wearing a sistah down! He has been so fussy and whiny the past couple of days. I think it's colic. So here I am now at 530 am with him lying on his belly on my lap. I soooo need a break. K moved out today until his apartment but we talked and he's going to stay until I go back to work to help me out. Yay! Lord knows I need him now. The deal is that he has to get up with Kendall more often during the week so I can get some rest. He did a good job tonight but I know he also needs his rest. We're trying though.

With Kendall not able to get his shots until October 3, that has delayed me returning to work until the following Monday. It's all good though. I'm not stressing it. Just gives me a little longer to be with him. I think K is going to go with us to that appointment since he has to get his shots that day.

Well, now that I have him settled let me try to get some rest.

One month old already?

2008-09-01T17:59:00.001-04:00

It's been a while but I've been busy with a newborn. Kendall turned one month old yesterday and celebrated his first holiday - Labor Day. What a day it was. We basically spent the day at my parent's house while his dad moved into his new apartment nearby. I can't believe how fast time has flown by. K's parents came to visit from MS this weekend and his mother basically held Kendall for two days. I swear my child is spoiled rotten now. I also had some visits from my two line sisters and Sheena. I was so happy to see some other people.

And would you believe my child smiled for his grandmother while he was awake but would not smile for me? Dang! I have to get him to smile for me. Lately his bowel movements have been far and few between. I get a little worried about him but apparently this is normal. He has his first doctor's appointment tomorrow so I'm going to make sure I talk to the ped about that. He also has slight baby acne but that's normal as well. I plan to take some pictures of him tomorrow. I would have done it today but my camera is suddenly missing and I wonder if K has it.

Other than that, life is great. I love being a mom. It's such a wonderful experience. Kendall truly is the apple of my eye. I can be bit selfish about wanting to share him with others but there's something about a mother's love.

Kendall at 3 weeks

2008-08-26T17:28:00.006-04:00

My baby is 3 weeks old and getting bigger everyday. I can't believe how time is flying by. One thing I do know that I plan to enjoy each and every moment I'm home with him. My plan was take him outside for a walk today but with this crazy weather it didn't happen. Oh well. Tomorrow is another day.

We're still working on the sleep thing. Actually, the problem isn't him, it's me. I'm the one who can't fall asleep at night. I need to work on going to sleep more in the evenings. We both go for our check-ups next week. And would you believe I just realized that this weekend is a long weekend? Labor day. Maybe we'll go out and do a family thing. Go for walks everyday or something so we can both get some sun and air. Next weekend, however, K is taking me on a date. As a matter of fact, I need to let him know that this evening. LOL. I'm ready to get out and be around some people. I'm talking dinner, a movie and all. I'll let Kendall stay with mom and dad for the night so we can sleep a full night. Lord knows it's be awhile since we did that.

We had that dreaded money discussion last night. I was a bit nervous about it but we really needed to talk about how we were going to handle paying for things in regards Kendall. Luckily, the conversation wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to have. And we had a really good evening, the 3 of us lying in bed talking and watching tv. Oh that note, let me run since it's time to wake him for a diaper change.

3 weeks old

2008-08-25T18:52:00.002-04:00

It's been a minute but I've been busy with a newborn. Kendall turned 3 weeks old today. My how time is flying by. Seems like just yesterday my water was breaking and we were rushing to get to the hospital. He's growing so much! I'm still adjusting to this waking up constantly at night but we're doing great. He also stretches...alot. I was abit worried but my mom says that's normal. He's even given me a smile or two. I hope and pray he'll have some big smiles when we do pictures in October.

I feel great. I think I've lost alot of pregnancy weight and I feel like myself again. Yesterday I drove for the first time. It was nice to get out of the house for a few. Saturday I spent the day with my parents. It was nice as well. Then tons of family came over to see Kendall and have dinner. We didnt stay for dinner but we were there with them. I love all the love that comes with a new baby. Well, Kendall is crying so let me go tend to him.

Two weeks old

2008-08-17T21:32:00.003-04:00

It's been a minute but I have a newborn so I try to blog whenever I can. Kendall will be two weeks old tomorrow. My how time has flown by. Breastfeeding is not going well at all. I can get him to latch on but he doesn't nurse well at all. I guess he's so used to the formula. I really hope I can at least get him to nurse at least once a day everyday but I said by the end of this week, I'm giving up completely. Yea, yea, I know. I probably shouldn't but it's frustrating. Besides, this kid is growing like a weed! LOL.

My grandmother surprised me and came into town this weekend. I was so happy to see her. She brought my little 5 month cousin Kamari with her.I got tons of pictures of Kendall and Kamari. I swear this Christmas will be a busy one. I'm so excited. I can't wait for him to get about her size and doing what she does.

Today K and I spent about 5 hours at my folks house. We had a huge dinner and sat around laughing. It was so nice to finally get out of the house and have a good time with the family. I had to keep taking Kendall away from them and put him in his chair so that he isn't used to folks sitting there holding him all day. People forget that I'm here with him all day and that once his dad gets settled in his apartment, I'll be here by myself. Yea, lest we not forget that.

K and I are getting along as well as can be expected. I have my days when I hate him but I'm trying my best to be compromising and understanding that this is his son and that's he's a first time dad. *sigh* Lord help me. I'm trying but man....

I finally got my short term disability pay. Yay! I can go ahead and pay my rent for Sept and Oct. Thank you Jesus. Luckily I'll have the extra cash to pay for my other bills and stuff before returning to work. Oh, I invited the girls over a ladies afternoon at the end of the month. I plan to go through some clothes and donate tons of stuff to Goodwill. I want to start fresh with my wardrobe and plan to get rid of tons of stuff. Purses and all. The only thing I'm keeping are my shoes and y'all know how I feel about my shoes... LOL

Friday nights have become pizza nights in my house. I don't cook on the weekend so I've gotten in the habit of ordering pizza in and kicking back. Tomorrow I plan to work on my closet and start folding/bagging clothes. Each day I'll have K take a container out of the storage closet for me to sort. Should help pass time during the day.

Oh! Funny story: Saturday night K and I got up with Kendall and would you believe that boy pissed and pooped all over my bed! Not to mention he peed all over my phone! >:( I was fighting mad but I couldn't blame him.

One week, two days

2008-08-13T12:57:00.002-04:00

Things here at home with baby Kendall are going great. We still have some issues with breastfeeding and latching on, I plan to keep trying for as long as I can. Honestly I didn't even attempt to at all yesterday. I feel ok except for the occassional pain in my tummy but that's supposed to be normal. We had our one week check up and he has grown an inch and gained 6 oz. Go Kendall! Seems we're both doing well.

I'm pretty much getting in sync with his routine. Can't quite say it's predictable but I got an idea of how he operates. It's during the night that he likes to sit up and stay awake for an hour. I'm going to do my best to keep him up late tonight. Last night he woke up at 1:30 and 5:30. This wasn't so bad. K is still adjusting to life with a baby. We both are really. I've been feeling a little bit of the baby blues but not because Kendall, moreso because of K. I just don't feel like he's attracted to me anymore. Last night we spent the evening eating dinner tonight and talking in bed for an hour. It was really nice to at least do that much. I just wish he would at least hug me or touch me other than back to back. But this is another story for another day.

Other than that, things are peachy. We go back for our postpartum appointments just after Labor Day and might get the green light to leave the house for a change. LOL. The first thing I plan to do is cook a HUGE dinner at my parent's house in honor of their anniversary since I didn't get a chance to do anything for them. I hear Kendall stirring so let me check on him and see what we're going to eat for dinner tonight.

Day 5 as a new mommy

2008-08-09T10:00:00.002-04:00

Well, its been 5 days since Kendall was born and my life has completely changed. I have never been in love with someone the way I love him. He is wonderful in everyway. From every spit up to the two times he's peed on me, I love him like I never loved any man. His father is certainly proud. I have to keep reminding myself that he's never handled babies before and doesn't know how to do things. I try not to sound mean but he needs to learn that you can't loolygag when it's time to move. He's so slow about changing diapers and even warming a bottle. It's frustrating because I've had practice my whole life but I'm making myself learn to slow down, breath and teach him.

I think I may have overdid things yesterday because I've had an awful pulling in my stomach. And naturally it hurts to cough so I said I would take today easy. It doesn't help that there are tons of clothes to wash but I'll put them up tomorrow. I know I have the support of everyone and will take advantage of it. Speaking of which, I need to figure out what to eat for breakfast. When K wakes up I'll have him to get me a smoothie and salad. I'm trying to make sure my diet is very healthy so that I can drop the baby weight but also so my milk supply is good for Kendall. Speaking of milk....

Mine still hasn't come in. My boobs are pretty sore today but I haven't attempted to put him on yet. He and his father are still sleeping. They look so cute sleeping in the bed together. As much fuss I put up about not letting him sleep with us, he's been in the bed with us all night. LOL. I'm a new mommy. I cant help it. My goal for the weekend is to relax and not have any visitors. Right now I just want to chill and spend time with my little family. Wow, I have a family...

He's here and I'm a mommy! Birth story

2008-08-06T11:05:00.001-04:00

I woke up around 6 am on August 3rd unable to sleep. I felt fine. K and I did a lot of running around the day before and had even made it out to the movies that morning to see the new Mummy movie I was dying to see. Well, around 7:30 I decided to go back to bed since he wasn't up and I was finally getting sleepy. As soon as I hit the bed, I felt a trickle run down. My first thought was that I peed on myself. After I climbed back out of the bed and let my feet hit the floor, the floodgates opened. I yelled for K to wake up because my water broke. It seemed the water just did not want to stop so I jumped in the tub (yea, I panicked). After calling my parents and letting them know this was it, we both showered and got dressed.

I must have changed clothes twice because the waters kept coming. I mean, it was like Niagra Falls or something. We finally left the house about an hour later and met my aunt at the hospital. After the midwife checked me and confirmed that my water had indeed broke, things got long. Apparently I was dilating very slowly and it ended up causing serious distress to Kendall. I couldn't sit up because it was would raise my blood pressure so I spent the next 32 hours laboring on my sides. Yes, I said 32 hours of labor and half of it was without an epidural. I swear I snatched Big up a couple of times because the pain was extruciating. I mean, I have never felt pain like this before. I put my ipod and tried to get focuses and it helped some.

Because my dilation was so slow after laboring all night, they decided that a C-section would be best for both Kendall and I and we agreed. He was born at 3:26 pm on August 4, weighing 6lbs 1.9 oz, and measuring 19 inches long. He is such a quiet and content baby. We're still having some difficulty with breastfeeding but his bottle appetite is picking up. I'm just grateful and blessed for a healthy child. Other than that, everything is great. We may end up going home today or tomorrow, Friday the latest. I have some staples in my tummy that will have to be removed from the c-sec but I'm doing well.

K is the happiest man on the earth. He has done so well with getting up with him everytime he cries and taking care of him. Since I've been pretty bed ridden, it's all on him and he hasn't complained once.

39 week appointment

2008-08-01T14:15:00.002-04:00

Yesterday's appointment went like this:

Still 1 cm
60% effaced
Soft and mushy cervix
Kendall still hasn't dropped
Anyday now

I was hoping that there would have been more change than this but it wasn't. Either this kid is waiting on his due date or he's just being stubborn. I'm trying not to fret about it, but hey, it is what it is.

I'm still having contractions and ankles swelling. She also said that ankle swelling will go away after I deliver. yay! It seems the blood return in my feet is blocked by the baby so that's all.

Well, there isn't much else to report other than I'm ready and just waiting. Today is my last day at work and I plan to spend next week lounging. *sigh* It should be so wonderful.

False Alarm again

2008-07-30T14:53:00.002-04:00

Yesterday on my way home I started experiencing a crampy feeling. It started while I was on the phone with my cousin. By the time I made it home, it was still coming and they were getting slightly stronger. So, I emailed my mom and told her how I was feeling. She said it sounded like pre-labor pains and that she would stop by on her way home from work. The whole time she was there I managed to cook dinner and we chatted for about 45 minutes before she left and I still managed to have them. They weren't painful but man were they annoying.

After she left they started back up and I figured that if I were going to go into labor, I might as well get my last meal in and go to Mickey D's for a Big Mac. While I was in the drive thru, they kept getting stronger and stronger. It didn't help that they messed up my burger so I had to go back around and get an attitude. I got home and decided to get comfortable before K got home. He scared the crap out of me when I came out of the bathroom. I had no idea he was there. I told him that I think it may be time to head to the hospital the look on his face was priceless. LOL.

I called the nurse and awaited a call back. In the meantime, I was on my knees in pain and called my cousin. He told me to go to the hospital or wait it out. We opted to wait it out and see. I mean, if these contractions weren't coming every 5 minutes, no need to leave out. K kept rubbing my back the whole time (as if rubbing was going to do something!) and finally the nurse called back. She talked me through it all and said she would call the hospital and let them know I may be headed that way. Well, waited and timed them and they finally disappeared by 10:30. I don't remember falling asleep but apparently I did because my mom called about 11 to check on me and I was knocked out.

We are at the point now where we're waiting on pretty much any day, any time for Kendall to show up. I'm nervous and anxious but I figure since Friday will be my last day, I can spend next week going for walks and maybe swimming. Its a good exercise and will give me a chance to relax. Hopefully I can make it to the end of the next week but we'll see. I've had some pressure 'down there' and Kendall is definitely moving. There's a new moon on Friday so maybe while I'm at Kanetta and Naomi's house he will decide to get moving.

39 weeks

2008-07-29T10:34:00.004-04:00

Well, I turned 39 weeks today. Officially one more week until I have been pregnant for 10 months. 10 freaking months. I feel ok with the exception of missing some serious sleep and feeling some cervical pressure. I guess I'll end up making it to my due date after all. I woke up in bad pain in the middle of the night. I had to hit Ken to wake him up so that he could rub my back. I mean, the pain was paralyzing! I've never felt anything like that. I don't know if it was a contraction or back spasm. Either way, that ish hurt something serious.

I plan to take some pictures today when I get home from work. Just a few shots since I look kinda cute today. *wink* For some reason yesterday I got hit with that "jump his bones" feelings. That all changed around 9 pm for reasons I'd rather not say. I'm trying not to let myself get upset but sometimes that man just pisses me off! Argh!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I plan to actually cook dinner. Yea, I know. How about that? Can't tell you the last time I've actually done that and figured I'd try it tonight. If I'm not too tired or too lazy to do. Personally I think I may just clean the kitchen and leave it at that. K can cook if he wants. I'm just not feeling up to it these days. I'm exhausted and very much pregnant.

My friend Na just emailed and asked me how I was feeling. After i explained to her about the insomnia (which is worse than before), she meant emotionally. I told her that there are moments when I'm ready to get this over with and others when I'd rather just stay pregnant. I guess my thoughts are plagued with worrying about if I'm really cut out of this mother stuff. I mean, I know have maternal instinct but now I'm responsible for a life. I mean, that's major! Maybe I'm worrying myself for nothing. We'll see. Either way, I'm sure everything will be just fine.

I'll be sure to take those pictures and get them posted up tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.

Barefoot and pregnant

2008-07-25T11:38:00.002-04:00

I keep having the craziest dreams that Kendall is here. K said that last night he had two reoccuring dreams about me going into labor. Does this mean that it's near? At 2 am, I got up because I thought the child was over in his crib, so I looked and realized that I was still pregnant. Yea, I think a full bladder in the middle of the night will do some strange things to you. Needless to say, I slept pretty good last night just wish I had more time. K and I got up for work and were talking as we were getting dressed. I guess we're both pretty anxious about getting this baby here at this point. What's pissing me off more than anything right now are the swelling of my feet. I mean, seriously, I am so sick of these things blowing up the way they do. It's freaking lunch time and I don't even feel like going out to get anything to eat because I know it's going to hurt to walk. *sigh*

I feel like I've done nothing but complain for the past month, which may be true, but why do things have to get worse before they get better? I am so sick of people commenting on the fact that I'm still pregnant. Yes, I know I am and I'm not due for over another week. Why does everyone want to rush it? *rolling eyes*

K has been home with me every night. He's been looking for an apartment closer to me so I suppose we'll be doing that this weekend. Personally I don't feel like doing much of anything but I know I need some air. I had plans to get a pedicure during lunch but I don't feel like going anywhere. I'll just stop by the mall on my way home and do it then. Tonight's plan is to fold laundry and kick back. That is it. I think K is playing basketball so I'll have some dinner ready for him but I have no other plans for the evening. I'm just going to be barefoot and pregnant.

38 week appt

2008-07-24T11:27:00.001-04:00

Had my doctor's appointment yesterday and walked away a little depressed. Turns out I'll have to have antibiotics in my IV when I got into labor because I tested positive for Group B Strep. Nothing life-threating since it lives in everyone but can cause the baby to get sick with pnemonia since their immune systems aren't up to par. I'm fine with that but one of the downfalls is that it could interfer with nursing. *sigh* I'm really trying to breastfeed but we'll see what happens. I also found out that I am still at 1 cenimeter dilated, 30% effacement and the baby was moved back up in my pelvis instead of down. *blank stare* Doggone it little boy, drop! I just knew I was dilating something serious this weekend but nope. The kid has moved back up in my stomach and refuses to come down. At this point, it's looking like I might end up having him on my due date of August 8 after all. My midwife said that they will not let me go past 41 weeks without inducing me (something else I want to avoid) so keep your fingers crossed for me.

I called K to come over last night because I was feeling a little down and didn't want to be alone. He came and I assume for the mountain of clothes and stuff he left, that he'll be back over tonight. I do recall him telling me that he was pretty much going to move in after this weekend anyway so that he's there for when Kendall comes. I'm really hoping this kid shows by my next appointment. I guess I feel a little envious of those who already had their babies. I am so ready to meet the little man that will change my life forever. I know it won't be easy but I'm just ready.

I stopped by two daycare centers yesterday and think I found a winner. I love the facility and the staff. The woman in charge is really great. I do want my mom and Big to go by at some point so that we can get everything in order. Definitely an exciting time.

Well, nothing else to report at this point. Just waiting on baby boy to get here. Fingers crossed!

Insomnia

2008-07-23T12:34:00.002-04:00

Ok, I'm really trying to stay optimistic and upbeat but I'm not feeling it. I've been up since 3 am. I had to force myself to go back to sleep at 5:30 for at least an hour so that I got some rest. I'm tired yet not sleepy tired. I feel like i just need to lie down and nothing at all. But that's not going to happen because I have tons of errands to run before going to my doctor's appointment today.

I am just so ready to have this baby already. Between his weight, the swelling and the annoying questions people keep asking, I'm mentally done. I am no longer a happy camper nor will I front like I am. If one more damn person says to me, "Why are you still pregnant?!" or "You're still here at work?" YES I AM 38 WEEKS PREGNANT AND STILL HERE! I can't rush when this will happen but I certainly want it to. Ugh! But hey, when Kendall is ready to make his appearance, he will. He is definitely a Leo; gotta run shyt even from the womb.

Well, I have my doc appointment in a few hours so maybe I've dilated. I'm hoping I have. I plan to eat some lunch here in a few. Nothing heavy until after my appt. We're on water restriction here at work so we can't drink the water until notified. This sucks because water tastes so good and now I have to spend $1.25 just get a bottle. Geez! Anyway, I suppose I'll try to do some work (yea right, what work), eat and the head out for my appointment.

Mucous plug - going, going, gone!

2008-07-21T12:12:00.002-04:00

Big finally put the crib together (I'll post pictures later) so everything is in place for Kendall's arrival. We had a false alarm Friday night about 3 am that kept us up until 4. By the time it was all over, I was exhausted. I did finally manage to do my grocery shopping so everything is set to go at this point. Nothing else to do, nothing else to buy. We are on baby watch, yellow status. LOL.

The funniest thing of the weekend was watching him put the crib together Saturday morning. It took him 6 hours! 6 freakin hours! first he swore the distributor sent the wrong pieces, then he finally figured it out. Once it was all put together, he realized it was too big to fit through the doorway to the bedroom. After he tried shimmying it in a couple of times and it didn't work, he took the whole thing apart and had to put it back together. Oh he cussed and fussed, but man was it funny. Needless to say, our baby's bed looks awesome. I can't wait to see him lying it in. I'll post pictures later.

Sunday was a lounge day. We picked up the crib mattress and that was it. We also got some chinese food I had been craving and camped out while we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I woke up really nauseous again this morning but I guess it may be an early labor sign. I noticed yesterday afternoon that was feeling a little funny "down there". For a minute I thought my water broke and ran to the bathroom. Turns out it was my mucous plug coming out. It was so gross! I told Big and he freaked a little because he thought it was time. LOL. Needless to say, we chilled the rest of the day.

I feel ok so far this morning. A little anxious but I'm ok. Just ready to have this baby and keep it moving. I miss my body but at this point in the game it isn't my show. Whenever Kendall is ready to show, he will. I'll be doing some 38 week pictures today so I'll post them later.

37 week appt

2008-07-18T09:05:00.002-04:00

Everything looks good so far. I had my doctor's appointment yesterday:

Kendall is still head down
Weighs over 6 pounds now
Is at -2 station
Dialated a cenimeter
His heartbeat is really good
My BP is good as well

The doctor said it could be anyday now so we're just waiting to see what happens. Considering how tonight is the full moon, who knows. At this point, I really don't care when he comes. Yesterday's appointment was rather uncomfortable. Because my cervix is still pretty high, she was reaching pretty far up in there and that crap hurt! She kept apologizing but hey, gotta do what you have to do. I finally told my aunt this morning that she is going to be Kendall's Godmother. Lord, if that woman didn't scream in the phone. LOL But I couldn't ask for anyone better to be his godmother. Now, the Godfather is another story. We're still working on that one.

I've been waking up pretty nauseous every morning. I think my toothpaste has something to do with it. This morning it seems it was more severe because I had a horrible headache too. I ate some breakfast and had a bottle of water so maybe that will help. So far I'm starting to feel a little better just a little achy and out of it.

I just realized that I haven't done any picture this week. I'll have to do some when I get home. I was thinking about going to the mall when Kanetta after work to do some walking if I can stand it. We'll see how I'm feeling. I'm just concerned about the ankle and feet swelling.

37 weeks

2008-07-16T11:21:00.003-04:00

We've made it to 37 weeks and I feel fine. Tired as normal but ok. I honestly think I've moved past that whole, "I'm sick of being pregnant" phase are just letting things ride out. I'm still not sleeping well at night but thats a given. Still peeing every 5 minutes but that's a given too. At this point, it is what it is.

I also think my nesting urge is gone. I was thinking about buying some things for my apartment while out during lunch today. I don't need much but I do want to get a few things. I also need to put the carseat in. I keep hearing and reading about people installing it now. I guess it is that time, huh? I also plan to pick up a couple of night gowns and some loungewear while i'm out during lunch. I don't have much of that and will need something while i'm at home everyday for the first two weeks.

Speaking of being home, I really hope my mom and dad relay the message to people that I don't want visitors the first two to three weeks I'm home. Especially my family. I don't want nor do I need folks coming over there. When I come out, so will my baby. I keep saying I'm going to speak to them about that but it slips my mind. Anyway, nothing else to blog. I'll be taking some pictures this evening when I get home so I'll update this with those. Other than that, any day now....

The waiting game

2008-07-14T09:55:00.002-04:00

Well, the furniture is all here and put together with the exception of the crib. The distributors forgot to put the screws in the box and are shipping them this week. We should have them by the weekend. I sure hope so. So, now all I have to do is finish my grocery shopping and buy some extra crib sheets. We're pretty much set at this point. I'm so ready for this kid to get here! K and I were both talking about how we want our bodies back. LOL His craving all the time is ice cream, mine is any and everything at this point. My appetite didn't pick up until the end. How crazy is that?

I spent most of last week trying to get my bills in order. I may be able to delay my car payment for two months, which would be fab, but my rent will go up. That can I deal with, but I just want to be able to eliminate at least one bill for about two to three months. I'm seriously thinking about paying $150 towards electricity for next month. Hey, one less bill to pay.

K and I still need to look into daycare options. Even though I plan to be out until the end of Sept or sometime in Oct, I need to get that stuff together. I want to send him there for at least a week prior to me returning to work so that I can get used to him being there. It's weird, but I ate this morning and have not felt him move. wait...there he goes. I was beginning to wonder....

Other than that, I think that's about it. It's the home stretch so it's just a matter of waiting. Funny that there is a full moon on Friday. I wonder if my water will break that night. LOL. I highly doubt it. This kid is not coming anytime soon.

Cervical pressure

2008-07-11T15:04:00.002-04:00

I'm at the point now where I have to sit with my legs open. If their close together, Kendall starts kicking me and squirming so that I'll get off his head (my bad). But I've also noticed that I feel him lower than before.

*Update: the furniture is here! Yay! I can't wait to post pictures of K trying to carry it up 3 flights of stairs.

100th post!

2008-07-10T15:06:00.002-04:00

This my 100th post! Wow. I can't believe I have that many.

Sharronica gets to go home tomorrow. She said both she and the baby are doing well. She said she feels like herself prepregnancy. I told that crazy child she better relax while she's staying with her mom so that she can get things back together. I for one will be at home doing nothing for at least 3 weeks. Maybe then I'll start to move around and get back on my feet but other than that, I'm just going to let my body heal. Heck, K will be there so he can do anything I need done around the house.

A couple of people have commented on the fact that I look like I may have dropped. I think I may have but who knows. Not really too focused on that right now anyway. All I'm waiting on is for my water to break and then we'll go from there. Which reminds me to put a towel on the bed or something. I've had some minor indigestion today and a couple of contractions, but other than that, i feel ok. Just ready to get home and chillax. I've decided that I'm going to stop by Wally World on my way home so that I don't have to bother doing it tomorrow night. This way I can spend my Friday night at home watching movies and K take that wall unit apart. *evil laugh*

On a good note, I found that I'll be having my stimulus and tax refund difference mailed out to me tomorrow (thank you Jesus!). That's much needed money for me. I'm going to make sure K puts at least $300 of into that into the high interest account he keeps raving about. We need to make some money moves for this kid ASAP. The rest will be back up money I use on bills. I was considering paying off one of my credit cards but I think I'll just take my time doing that. I don't want that money to become a crutch for me; its more like emergency cash.

Well, it looks like the rain is letting up. I'll go ahead and start packing up for home. I also need to remember to take my laptop with me today as well.

2008-07-09T14:16:00.003-04:00

After visiting Sharronica at the hospital last night, I realized I am not ready to have this baby yet. It's not the fact of him coming, it's the labor part that I'm terrified of. K has been trying to act all cool about everything and then finally last night he admits he's scared too. WTF?! We can't both be scared about this.

I've been feeling tons of pressure down there today. I don't know if that means the baby has shifted down or what. At this point, I could careless. I mean, if its time, then its time. I'm so physically exhausted right now it's ridiculous. I did manage to pick up the carseat from a lady on the parent's listserv at work. It's really cute. Navy blue and yellow. I also need to drop off these clothes to a family in need. I won't even go into detail about how coordinating a time has been difficult. Whatever.

My ankles have been swelling like it's nobody's business. I tried to tell my mom this is getting out of control. I have a doctor's appointment next week so I'll be sure to bring that up while their swabbing all of my orficies for Group B strep. Gross. Anyway, nothing new to report other than I am so ready to go home. I was going to go by my parent's house but I don't even feel up to it. Even if I did I would just end up taking a nap over there. Which isn't so bad. Besides, I've been craving hamburger helper. Maybe my dad will make some for me.

***UPDATE***
Sharronica had the baby today at 2:21. She weighed 5 lb, 5 oz and was 18 inches long. Only took her 20 minutes of pushing and she popped out. She said she's happy but really tired. I can't blame her.

36 weeks - 9 months pregnant

2008-07-08T14:40:00.004-04:00

I am officially 9 months pregnant today (7/8/08)and can safely give birth should the time occur. Today has been quite a day. I was slow getting up this morning. After a very restless and fitful nights sleep, I dragged into work and have been distracted all day. I got a call from my friend Sharronica around 10 telling me that her water may have broke. Girlfriend thought she peed on herself. LOL. Well, turns out her water did break and she is 6 weeks early! The doc feels everything should be ok for her. Too bad she hasn't gotten anything together for the baby yet. I went out during lunch and picked up some stuff. Poor thing is freaking out but she'll be ok.

I feel ok for the most part. Just ready to have this baby. I'm not rushing it but Lord knows that if my water decides to break, like TOMORROW, that would be just fine. LOL sike. I'd rather he wait about two more weeks.

Still have contractions in my lower back. I think part of it are contractions and the other part are just a back ache. I definitely need to go home and change shoes. These flat shoes are killing me. Well, other than that, life is grand and we're just waiting on the baby. Nothing new to report. I'll post pictures of myself today.

30 day countdown begins!

2008-07-07T11:10:00.002-04:00

I took Thursday off. After feeling back on Wednesday, I knew I needed a day to just relax and get myself back together. I must say that after a 4 day weekend, I feel pretty good.

Had my doctor's appointment on Thursday and all is well. Kendall has finally turned head down and I have gained another 2 pounds, bringing my pregnancy weight gain to 14 pounds. Not bad. Since everything was going to so well, the doctor suggested that I come back in two weeks so they can do Group B strep testing and check for dialation. I will be 37 weeks by this appointment date.

I feel ok overall. Heavy and tired but I'm getting there. I've noticed a serious increase in swelling of my feet. To remedy this I use cold wash cloths and they work wonders. Thank goodness. Still contracting everyday, often during the middle of the night. Twice I've had them in the middle of the night and tried to wake K and he rolls over. The fool doesn't even hear me! LOL But its all good.

I had a pretty good holiday. We saw the fireworks and kicked back all weekend. I didn't want to do too much except rest all weekend and I did just that. One another note, he finally ordered the furniture! Yay! I'm so excited. I'll have to talk to him about giving him my half of the money for it. And it was the set I really wanted from Target. I guess it will be here by the week's end. Tonight's plan is to return some clothes, clean out my car and figure out when I want to go grocery shopping. I really hate cooking my apartment but at this point, I have not choice. I guess I could clean out the fridge first, huh?

The 30 day countdown starts today. Hopefully baby boy will bake until 38 weeks but we'll see. The full moon is next Thursday so we'll see what happens. Since I'm feeling pretty good I think I'll make my 50th trip to the bathroom for the day and do some work.

Feeling like crap

2008-07-02T11:57:00.002-04:00

I feel like shyt today. I mean, seriously, I feel awful. Well, I feel slightly better since I went to the bathroom and had a BM but other than that, I'm tired and just feel bad. I've decided to take tomorrow off and just rest at home. Since I'm meeting up with the girls for pedis and and early dinner, I figure no sense in rushing. Plus I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon.

Kendall has been moving a like crazy and loves to ball up in my belly. Perhaps they can figure out what position he's in tomorrow. I'm just ready for this pregnancy to be over with already. My plan is to go grocery shopping at some point this weekend. That may have to wait until next weekend. I just don't have the energy to do it. I just want to lie around, watch tv and do nothing. Did I mention how exhausted I am? I need to remember to go by mom's tonight so she can trim my ends for me. I may just tell her to cut an inch off and even things up all the way around. My hair is starting to get on my nerves but I can't get braids yet. It's not "nappy" enough. LOL Anyway, let me get back to work. Maybe I can focus enough for the rest of the day and make it until 3:30.

My baby shower

2008-07-01T09:53:00.002-04:00

I'm just getting around to posting some pictures from it but it was wonderful! My mom, aunt and friends really outdid themselves. It was everything I wanted my baby shower to be and more. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I'm feeling pretty swollen these days so I don't even look like myself in my pictures. Geez! I didn't know you swell everywhere when you're pregnant. Anyway, here are some pictures of the day:

I've been taking pictures every week and my friends saved them and created a photo album for it. It was soo cute!

We always do baskets for each other for gifts and they gave me a basket of goodies. It was filled with tons of books, blankets, toys and bible stories. I loved it so much!

My cake! I finally revealed baby boy's name at the shower: Kendall. Since his father's name is Kennith, and I refused for my child to be a third, we agreed on Kendall. No middle yet but it's coming!

Cutting the cake. I swear I look so swollen in this picture. Everyone kept telling me how great I looked but I felt like crap. LOL

That's my mom on the left in blue and Ken's mom on the right. You can't tell my mother she isn't a diva. LOL Both his mother and my mother have very strong Native American blood running in them so our baby is going to definitely have a "native" look to him. LOL Plus his daddy is handsome so that helps. *wink*

I had my first story published when I was 7 years old. It was called "How a rainbow came to be". It's actually in the state library back in Hawaii where I grew up. My mom kept the original story all these years, had it framed for me to hang in Kendall's room. It was touched but should have figured my mom would do something like that. She keeps EVERYTHING. LOL

_____________________________________

Well, today is July 1. Can't believe August is a month away yet I only have 36 days until my due date. Lord knows it would be great if I could make it until then but we'll see. If you leave it to everyone else, I'll be having this baby sometime between the 15 of July and the 25. I wouldn't count that out at this point. Especially not the way I've been having contractions.

Anyway, I think K finally ordered the furniture on sunday. He asked if that was what I wanted and I said yes. I need to remember to give him the $100 gift card for Target so that we can save some money on it. Hey, a little bit goes a long way.

I had another contraction last night around 2:30 am. It was pretty intense. I couldn't even move to grab the phone if I needed to. At this point its just a matter of anyday now. Myfriend Lex and his girlfriend Shay had their baby yesterday. Her water broke about 9 something and she delivered at 11:47. I'm so jealous! I hope my delivery is short but I have a feeling this boy is going to make a scene. He will be either a Leo or a Cancer so we'll see.

Only thing left to pick up is are some extra crib sheets and probably something for that bassient. Speaking of which I need to get it out of my house asap. I guess it can go to K's house.

False Alarms - Again

2008-06-30T11:15:00.002-04:00

Had another false alarm Friday night that brought me to my knees. It last for an hour and let me tell you, that pain is no joke. I had two last night in the middle of the night that woke me up out of my sleep. Then this morning at work I had one. To top it all off, my friend Alexis emails me and tells me that his girlfriend's water broke. *gasp* He was running out of the office as we spoke to get to her and then the hospital. I pray she has a safe delivery and healthy baby. I'm sure the baby will be here before the day is over.

Other than that, I feel ok. Just tired all the time again. I feel like I just need to go home and go to bed. I keep trying to do so much yet it's exhausting. I know I shouldn't but hey, things have to get done one way or another.

*sidenote: Lex just texted me and said Shay is at 6cm and that the baby should be here in the next two hours! Wow!*

I'm not sleeping too good at night now. I feel so out of breath, like the wind keeps getting knocked out of me. K kept askign if I was ok, but I had such an attitude with him. I'm just really uncomfortable right now. I wasn't too uncomfortable to get some this morning though. *wink wink* Hey, I'm trying to fit in all I can before I can't do this for 6-8 weeks. LOL

I guess K is going to start staying with me more often since the time is nay. He left is Xbox and some other stuff at my place. I know that guy doesn't travel without that sucker so I know he'll be back. I hate that I'm kinda tettering him off track from getting his stuff done but at the same time this is his child too and he has some sacrifices to make as well. At this point I'm just all about planning and make sure we have everything. Speaking of everything, I'll have to remember to buy an extra set of crib sheets and something for that bassinet. Well, let me get out of here and run out for lunch. Got some errands to run so that I can go straight home today.

False Alarm

2008-06-27T14:27:00.002-04:00

Thursday morning around 2am, I woke up with bad back pain. I thought it was just from sleeping in the wrong position so I got on the sofa. That didn't help and I didn't think anything of it. All day yesterday I had the same pains at work and didn't think anything of it. Walking around seemed to help but every now and then I would get hit with a pain that would make me stop. My mom called that afternoon and I was describing the pain to her. Kendall had moved into a knot and was poking out the front of my stomach. She said it sounded like lower back pain and false labor and that I should call the doc.

I stayed on the phone with a nurse for about 20 minutes and had 2 more contractions. They told me to come in and hooked me up to a monitor. Turns out I was having real contractions! They gave me a shot of something to stop them and monitored me for another half hour. The contractions stopped but I was bit out of it for the rest of the day. Poor K. I called him when I got on the phone with the nurse and he was a bit bugged out because he thought it was time. I did too but I knew it couldn't have been. He insisted on coming over last night and stayed with me but I woke up with contractions this morning again. Nothing too bad but managable.

Reality certainly hit me yesterday that the time is emminent because that was the real deal. I'm a little freaked and afraid but if it's time, I can't stop it. Perhaps this will motivate him to order the furniture and get things cracking. My plan is to wait until next weekend and do my grocery shopping but I'm certainly going to pick up the other things I need in the meantime.

34 weeks

2008-06-25T10:17:00.003-04:00

I forgot to post yesterday due to a crazy work day. We've made it to 34 weeks. My bags and Kendall's bags are packed and in the car. We just need to order the furniture and put the carseat in and we're set. I'm so ready for the kid to get here.

I had my baby shower on Saturday and it was fabulous. My friends and my mom did a great job with decoratin and conducting everything. I couldn't have asked for a better day to welcome my child into the world. I have tons of pictures but K has my camera cord so I'll post them later. My surprised me by giving me a print out the book I wrote when I was 7 years old to hang in Kendall's room. I thought that was really sweet. I got tons of presents and spent the rest of the weekend unpacking them. I finally got all his clothes washed and put away for the time being. I'm still up in the air about this apartment thing right now though. I would love to move somewhere bigger but I want to save money and I keep hearing that the baby sleeps in your room more in one year anyway. No sense in useless space. I will, however, pack up some more my clothes in the closet.

I took a few belly shots yesterday in my nightgown. LOL I need to do one where you can actually see my stomach and tell what's there. I may do that tonight but it would be great to camera cord back from K so I can send out my pictures.

Lately I've been suffereing from nausea and fatigue like it's nobody's business. I have to start my day with ginger ale and go from there. I thought maybe I was dehydrated but I eat pretty regularly and pretty well. Not sure what's up with that. I have a few more purchases to make for Kendall today and then we should be set in terms of being ready for him. Still no breast pump yet but I'll take care of that myself this week. Well, let me get some work done and then go outside during lunch. Maybe it will make me feel better.

Day before the baby shower

2008-06-20T13:36:00.002-04:00

Well, 24 hours from now I will be the guest of honor at my baby shower. My mom's side is on the road as we speak, K's family is due to arrive either late tonight or early tomorrow morning and the food is all taken care of. I will be spending the evening at home resting and watching Love Jones. Actually I need to go out and buy some things for my kitchen but I'll take care of that later. Today is all about resting.

K called last night sounding like he was extremely tired. Updated him on the doctor's appointment. I've gained 3 pounds, bringing my total weight gain to 11 pounds, Kendall is estimated to weigh about 4.5 close to 5 now, and he's still breech. Yea, I got me a breech baby but I have a feeling he may turn soon. I'm not going to worry if the docs aren't worried.I go back on July 3 and then I start going every week. She said that they will do an US of his positioning by the next appointment. I'm going to see if K wants to go to the appointment or wait for another one as we get closer. I have to give him that, he's really been there for all the others early on. The once a month's I excuse him from because all I do is pee in a cup, get measured and leave.

Well, let me do some work before I get out of here for the day. I'm heading straight to my mom's to make some pasta salad for this party.

33 weeks appt

2008-06-19T13:28:00.004-04:00

Had my appointment today and it went really well. I've gained another 3 pounds, bringing my total pregnancy weight gain to 11 pounds. Not bad, not bad at all. She estimated that baby boy is weighing just around 4.5 pounds, or a little more. He's doing well; strong heartbeat and all. She able to tell me which position he was in and turns out he's still breech with his back to my side. I have one more two-week appointment scheduled for July 3 and then I'll start seeing them every week. Yikes! I guess its really close now.

Mentally I feel ok. Still haven't some worries about delivery and recovery but I'm sure everything will be fine. It seems I'm the only person worried about that but I guess that's normal. Right?

My friends and I did my belly cast last night. It was a funny experience. Imagine standing topless, slathered in vaseline in your girlfriend's kitchen while 3 of them plaster you. Yea, quite a memorable experience. But here's a picture of the actual cast:

It's pretty cool. I can't wait until we've decided on a name for him and I can decorate it to hang it in his bedroom. Well, our bedroom.

I've pretty much finished everything for the baby shower. I just need to figure out what I'm going to wear and do my hair tonight. My family should be arriving in town tonight and I'm not sure when K's family is getting here. Since my grandmother will be here all weekend, I would love to do something with both the families combined. Again, this is contigent on what other plans he may have for his family. I need to talk to my parents about this tomorrow night anyway.

Other than that, life is grand and there's always more to come. Let me get back to work.

33 weeks

2008-06-17T14:10:00.004-04:00

I'm 33 weeks today. Apparently baby boy should weigh about 4.5 pounds now and be 19 inches long. Geez, this kid is long! LOL I feel pretty good. Definitely starting to feel his weight. Heavy, heavy, heavy. I'm still walking and trying to get in as much exercise as possible.

The baby shower is a few days off. I'm going to order the cake today, balloons and pick up some stuff for Sheena for the favors. I also need to start preparing my thank you cards and such. I bought all the girls thank you gifts yesterday so that's taken of. I don't have much money so I just got everyone a necklace and card. I wish I could do more but I'm still waiting on a stimulus check they claim I'm going to get. Whatever.

Tomorrow night the girls and I are doing my belly cast. I think this is so cool. One of these days when Kendall has his own room I will hang it up in there. I also wanted K and I to take pictures of me during my pregnancy. I guess I'll have to bring this up to him asap seeing how I'm going to drop this kid soon, like next month.

I was talking to my friend Sharronica the other night and she said she's gained 20 pounds so far! Wow! I thought I was really doing something with my 8.5 weight gain for my whole pregnancy but hey, that works! I have my doctor appointmet on Thursday and should see how I'm weighing then.

Other than that, nothing much to report. Next week is 34 weeks and 8.5 months. Hard to believe that in just 2 more weeks after that I'll be full term. Wow. I just hope baby boy stays up in there until at least week 38. We dont't have anyplace for him to sleep. Speaking of which I'm not sure what the hell is going on with K about ordering this furniture. *rolling eyes* I won;t start this argument today but I'm getting anxious.

I also need to talk to my apartment complex to find out what they are doing about rent. I need to figure out if I need to move or what. Just so much to do and I don't feel like he's taking it serious and trying to help me at all. :(

Well, let me check into this furniture and see what happens.

2008-06-16T10:56:00.003-04:00

K and I attended breastfeeding school on Saturday. It was actually quite informative and I feel a little better about trying to bf. I mentioned earlier that had some anixety about it but I think that's only natural. I definitely want to try and do it for as long as I can.

K was so great last night. He massaged my back and even took the polish off my toenails for me. Lord knows I really appreciated that. I even gave him his first father's day gift. It was a record player and some albums. I'm sure he'll spend the rest of the week trying to figure that thing out.
Hell, after as much I paid for it, he better use it! LOL

I'm feeling great these days. The heat some days is a bit unbearable, I feel a little heavy and I'm just moving slower, but other that I'm great. I feel as though I'll miss being pregnant once it's all over. ;( I keep trying to remind myself to enjoy the time now and certainly plan to enjoy the time the baby and I spend on maternity leave. I'm just hoping and praying he doesn't come too early. Let's get him to at least 38 weeks and we'll go from there.

the baby shower is this Saturday. K's family is due to arrive either Friday night or early Saturday morning. From what he told me their going to get a hotel room out by me since it's closer to the shower. Plus we'll all be able to go to my parent's house and spend time there. I'm really excited about the shower because things are really getting real. Not much longer now. Maybe K will go ahead and order the damn furniture. *rolling eyes*. He really thinks someone is going to give us $200 to get this stuff. Whatever. You're crazy as hell. I'm not going to put my faith in anyone to give me that kind of cash for this. But NEWAY, I will do what I have to do in the interim. I do plan to buy another playpen and see he wants to do about that swing. Just so much to do in so little time.

Well, let me get back to work and update my registry one last time before people start buying stuff. 33 weeks tomorrow!

Can't sleep

2008-06-13T00:09:00.002-04:00

It's just after midnight here and I can't sleep. I'm not sure what's wrong with me but I can't rest. I would love to be in slumber land but I can't seem to get my mind to ease. I can't say that I have any pregnancy related stress on my mind, although I do have some personal issues on my mind that are kinda of bothering me. I haven't talked to K all week, unless via email counts, and I've barely spoken to my friends either. I guess I just needed some space from everyone. This week depression has been really bad for me.

I was talking to a girlfriend about "the confrontation" of 07. I just keep wondering what's going to happen to me after this baby is here. I know K is here now but can I count on him to want to make things right between us and we try to be a family? One of my blogger friends said that if a man tells you something, believe him because that's just how and who he will be. Part of me hates to think that I will fall into that single parent realm, and the other part of me hopes and prays that one day having a real family will work. I just hate seeing children who go through life with weekend custody and not having both parents there. I just really hate that. I guess I should have thought of that before getting pregnant, huh? LOL. I don't regret ending up pregnant, actually I'm quite happy about it. I just hate the circumstances surrounding my life before the pregnancy.

I've been suffering from boughts of loneliness. It's hard at this point trying to do everything on my own. I'm trying to clean, move stuff, get ready for the baby and physically, it's hard. It's to the point now that even bending down hurts. I hate going through this alone. I can only go to my parents house so many times and I can only blog so many times, and I can only complain to my girlfriends so many times. I just want to feel some sense of relief as my personal life is concerned. On days when things are good, their great; and other days their mediocre. Maybe it's all hormonal. I won't rule that. Maybe this week has just been a rut and will be get better. Yea, that's it. It's just been a rutty week. On that note, I think I'll go to Quiktrip and get a slushy drink.

32 weeks (8 months)

2008-06-10T18:06:00.004-04:00

Well, we've made it to 32 weeks safely. Thank you Jesus. I'm pretty excited at this point because in 3 more weeks I could safely deliver if baby boy was ready to come out (which I'm hoping he's not). I feel pretty good. My feet tend to swell now so I have no shoes that fit. I have a job interview tomorrow and I do hope that they aren't turned off from my belly. I just hope they see me as a great candidate for the position.

I took some pictures today and plan to post them up tomorrow when I get in the office. I'm kinda tired and want to take a nap but I at least wanted to blog about the fact that we've made it this far. Not much longer to go from here. Let's just stay prayful that baby boy doesn't come until he's past 36 weeks.

Doctor's appt today

2008-06-05T09:51:00.003-04:00

I have my doctor's appointment today. I feel ok except for some minor hand and feet swelling and a touch of nausea. Nothing to major but I'm sure she'll notice it too when I'm there today. I plan is to begin discussing my birth plan with her. I want to make sure she knows how and where I stand on things. I haven't really consulted with K on much but I'm sure he's ok with whatever I say.

I took a nap yesterday when I got home and finally got up and did some cleaning. I went to bed around 10:20 and could not fall asleep. I don't know why but this kid wanted to kick all freaking night. I was so exhausted and not to mention my bladder was going to explode by 4:30. I hate waking up then becaus I know my alarm will go off about 6 but I won't get out of bed until 6:15-6:20. I'm so ready to start maternity leave already! Let me have a little break and just kick back or something!

I found a daycare center right around the corner from my house. They've been building it for a while and I think they finally opened. It's $5 more than the other place but it's closer to home. I'm going to stop by soon (hopefully K can make it with me) and see what their about.

I suppose I'm nesting again because I was cleaning out my closet and organizing Kendall's stuff last night. I don't have much but I'm starting to acquire things on a weekly basis. My next purchase will be for a piggy bank for him. I want to have something we can contribute to each week. K is already talking about buying the boy a car at age 15. I'm not big on teenage drivers but K said this was not up for discuss. Umpf! We'll see about that... I swear this guy thinks he can make whatever decisions about this kid as if he's not half mine too. Whatever.

My plan for lunch today is to go out to Target and pick up a few things. I don't need much but I do want to get some stuff for the house. Plus it gives me a chance go walking. I might even stop by the ice cream shop and getting some ice cream. Oooohhhh, that sounds yummy. I also want to get some shelves to put up in my living room tonight to spruce it up. Between that and some curtains, it should really start to come together. I also need to do something about those movies and things I have under the wall unit. Again, another project I'll work on tonight while I'm doing laundry and watching the Lakes vs Celtics game.

Not much else to blog about. Just ready for Kendall to get here. Oh! I would like to say that loudmouth on the otherside of the wall from me has been rather quiet so far today. She had a minor setback this morning but for the most part she's learning to just shut up. Thank goodness!

31 weeks

2008-06-03T10:28:00.003-04:00

We made it to 31 weeks. I feel ok today except from a pulling or stretching sensation on the sides of my stomach. I actually noticed it last night in bed when I rolled over. Like I pulled a muscle. I have to keep reminding myself to take it easy since my stomach and uterus are stretching to accomodate the kid.

I've gotten some more emails from people saying they received their invitations in the mail. Hard to believe that it's almost that time. Last night I actually started packing my bag for the hospital. I was thinking about running out for lunch today to buy a new nightgown and other stuff for my bag. I still need to pack the baby's stuff as well. I'll get to this little by little. My goal today is is to get rid of all the stuff in my hall closet and it out in the storage closet. I'll have my brothers come by today and help me with that.

I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday so I'll address any concerns then. I also need to speak with my midwife about my birth plan as well. Other than that, all is well.

After the weekend

2008-06-02T15:05:00.002-04:00

I had a great weekend. K and I went out of town to visit his family. His mother and everyone else fussed over me all weekend. LOL It was really sweet but a bit much at times. They didn't want me lifting a finger, as if I would really sit still. We got in town late last night. We were both dog-tired and passed the heck out...well, not immediately ;) All I plan to do tonight is wash my hair and rest while watching House. Everything else will have to wait for later this week. My car needs a good wash and to be cleaned out in the worst way but I don't think I have the energy to do that today.

Tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks. Still no progress made on the furniture purchase yet. I suppose K will wait until after the baby shower however, I would prefer we have it now and not wait. Anyway, I'm not going to stress it. I'll let him handle this stuff. The invitations for the shower have been sent. Thank goodness some people have already received theirs. Now we just have to pay the rest on the building and finalize decorations. I guess my mom, Estelle and I will get together on this later.

I'm struggling to stay awake here at work. I got some last minute work that came in and will try to take care of it first thing in the morning. That's just the way it goes on a Monday. I have another doctor's appointment on Thursday and then we have that class on Saturday. I guess I'll head over to K house late Friday night or early Saturday morning. The class starts at 9 so we have to be on time. *sigh* Things just got really real.

30 week photos

2008-05-29T20:07:00.002-04:00

I had my 13 year old brother take pictures for me today. I normally do it myself but I was at my parents house and figured what the heck. Saves me the energy from having to prop things up at home. Anyway, here are the pictures. I'm heading out of town tomorrow to visit K's family.

Queen of mood swings

2008-05-28T13:50:00.002-04:00

One thing that sucks about pregnancy are the hormonal changes you go through. One second you're happy, the next you want to kick EVERYONE's butt. I was fine earlier today until my friends and I realized that we may not be able to do both lunch and the SATC movie on Friday. We worked it out but the whole situation left me in a kind of a funky mood. Not to mention I had to drop off the favors for my shower to my friend Sheena and pick up my invitations (which they printed wrong 3 times!) and get back to work. In the midst of all this, I had to eat something because I was feeling nauseous and Kendall started kicking the crap out of me. Again, enough to make you want to say screw everyone and just go home.

I slept pretty good last night although I wish I had gone to bed earlier. I was exhausted. I took a nap at my parent's house yesterday and totally missed my brother's music recital. I'm definitely going home today to take a nap so I can work on invites tonight. Regardless of what's going on, I'm walking out of this office at 3:30 today. Screw that. I did manage to get all the labels printed and will drop everything off to my mom tonight.

Last night I missed K. I know he stayed at my house for the past three days but I missed sleeping with him. I sleep so much better when he's there. Of course I want him to enjoy all the space he can get because come July 1st, I'm moving in. There is no way I will be at home 9 months pregnant, waiting for my water to break by myself. *note to self: pay rent when I get back in town* Dang, I also need to get a gift for his nephew. Between my cousin Molly and his nephew, I'll be hitting up WalMart Thursday night.

I've been having some swelling of the feet this week. I had to finally revert back to my flipflops. It's like I have little piglets on my lower body. I try to keep them elevated when I can but I forget. Go figure. Well, I'm struggling to stay awake here at work so I guess I'll go hand out my thank you cards from my shower here at work. It will be some good exercise for me. I swear as soon as I get home, I'm sleeping until 6.

30 weeks (7.5 months)

2008-05-27T10:23:00.003-04:00

Praise God I made it safely to 30 weeks. I'm feeling both excited and nervous at this point. part of me is anxious to meet this little guy and the other part of me is hoping he just stays in there. LOL. Although I know that's not realistic, it's still a nice thought.

Ihad a prettygood weekend. Friday night I spent at home unable to sleep so I did some cleaning. Saturday my friend Keith had a cookout. It was ok. That situation I was kinda upset about last week was dealt with. I won't go into details about it but I will say that I put my feelings out there and told someone about themself. End of discussion. Saturday night Kendall decided that he wanted to keep me and K awake so he moved to the top of my stomach and stretched completely out. Yes, completely. K had to getup and turn on the light to see it. It was so weird. I told you, this kid has his own agenda with things. I'm not even mad at him because he's running the show right now. Sunday we spent with my family at my parent's house. It was the first time K got to meet the Reese side of the family and everyone liked him. Whew. I know how crazy my family can be and thank goodness everyone was on their best behavior. My mom even said my cousin told her that she liked him. Sunday night we went home and passed out. Monday we went back to my parents for lunch and then headed back to my house to just rest and be lazy. Again, nothing major but kicking back.

We're heading to MS on Friday. I'm sure it will be quite a weekend. I'm definitely alot more pregnant so I know K's family will be happy to see us. the next time they see us, Kendall will be here in tow. Hard to believe that Sunday is June 1. I'm not even packed for the hospital yet. I feel like I should be but I dont know where to start. I'm going to work on it tonight so I can get everything together. Speaking of which, I need to figure out what he's going to wear home and in his first picture. Again, I might wait until after the baby shower to do all of this. Yea, I think I just might do that and just pack my toileteries while I'm thinking about it.

At my doctor's appointment the other week she told me that I had gained 8 pounds, half of which is his weight the rest of the fluids in me. I so wanted a sweet potatoe pie yesterday but K talked me out of it. I was a little upset but later that night I asked him to go get me some grapefruits I was craving. I'm going to try tonight when I get home from my brother's recital. I forgot what time my mom said it started but I'll be there either way.

Well, let me get to work. You know how it is when you come back from a holiday. I'll be posting pictures this week at some point. I also have to figure out when I'm going to do my belly cast. Gotta get with the girls on that.

2008-05-23T23:16:00.003-04:00

I can't sleep. the time is 11:16 pm and I can not go to sleep. It's not like I need to rush to bed or anything considering how tonight is Friday but I do feel like I should be knocked out. I guess since my mind is heavy, I can't truly rest the way I want. I was thinking of going to WalMart and doing some shopping. Part of me wants to call K and tell him that I'm coming over. I know I'll sleep great with him. As a matter of fact, I think that's it. I don't want to sleep alone. I sleep so good when I sleep with him. I guess I feel a bit more safe and relaxed.

My baby shower at work today was awesome. I didn't get a whole bunch of gifts but I got some great ones. I'll have to send out thank you cards as soon as I have some time next week. I'm a little more motivated to go out and start buying stuff now myself. Which is part of my plan for going to Walmart at midnight anyway.

The printers sent me a proof of the invitation and they messed it up. *sigh* good thing my mom checked it and called me because I would have totally forgotten about it until tonight. i'll try to get over there tomorrow to ensure that they get it together. Lord knows I can't have jacked up invitations and I need them by the end of the week next week. Which also reminds me that I need to pick up labels.

Actually let me go ahead and admit this now: I'm lonely. I hate sitting here at night alone. That's why I'm constantly going over to my parents house. Granted they live around the corner but I'm still lonely as all get out.I just wish K were here with me. Ok, ok, I need to get over it! I suppose I'm rambling now because I'm tired. Which I am. I just want to go to bed with him and forget about everything else. My friend Keith is having a cookout tomorrow and I know he'll be dog tired when its all over since he's helping him cook. Let me get up and go to Walmart. I don't know who I'm kidding. I can't focus and maybe going shopping will help.

29 weeks

2008-05-21T11:46:00.003-04:00

I turned 29 weeks and are amazed that 30 weeks is next week. Geez where is the time going? These weeks are flying by way too fast. I feel as though I'm really miss being pregnant. I'm glad I've enjoyed this time as much as I have. Sure it was a rocky road at certain points, but for the most part I'm ok.

I had my doc appt yesterday and I just barely passed my glucose test. Had it been up a point, I would have had to do a 3 hour test. That drink was awful. It tasted like chalky orange soda. The blood test also revealed that I may be anemic. Meaning, I need to up the iron and calcium. I knew this would happen considering how I don't drink enough milk. I'm going try to increase it naturally then try the iron vitamins. I heard those things can make you constipated so I'm trying to hold out on them.

My midwife recommended that I go ahead and get my bag packed, cut out junk food and keep doing what I'm doing. I've gained 8 pounds to date, which means half of the weight is his. I think he's weighing around 3-4 lbs now. I sure hope this little boy isn't a huge baby but I do want him at a healthy weight.

I can't believe today is Wednesday! Gosh the week has flown by. My baby shower here at work is on Friday. That should be an interesting day. I just think it's sweet that the people I work with are throwing me one. It's just too sweet. I can't wait! This makes the whole pregnancy experience real. I'll just have to figure out how I'm going to get all this stuff in the house. and who knows, I may not end up with a whole lot of stuff. I sure hope I do though! I'm so excited.

Other than that, no new news to report. Just trying to take things one day at a time and get ready for baby boy. I've been having second thoughts about my crib though. I keep hearing how boys are rough on furniture so I may have to retalk this thing with Ken about the crib set I selected. I don't know. I'm going to do some research this afternoon and see what he says. It may be nothing but I don't want to buy something Kendall tears up as soon as he starts walking. We'll see.

I'll be doing my 30 week photo shoot next week. I'm going to have my brother take the pictures this time. We'll probably do some outdoor nature type shoot. I saw something like that on Mothering.com and it was beautiful. Now, I'll just have to find a park to do this at.

2008-05-19T12:07:00.002-04:00

I figured that since I had some free time before my afternoon meetings start, I would update my blog. Nothing much to report. I finally decided on invitations this weekend. Well, rather, my mom and Estelle said, "we're going with these and this is final". I'm not complaining. All I have to do it take the doggone things to the printers and get them printed. All that other stuff is in their hands. I guess I should get with my game folks and figure out what kinds of prizes they may need for the games. I'll do that in June.

Other than that, things are ok. I wento Lex and Shay's baby shower/pool party and everyone finally realized I was pregnant. Yup, its all out. My friend Keith took it the hardest. He was hurt that I hadn't told him sooner and it kinda hurt my feelings that he was really upset. Nothing I can really do about that. Oh well. It's out there now so its onward to the shower. Shay got tons of great gifts and outfits. I'm sure I'll have the same for my little prince...who currently does not have a middle name. I sure hope K has been thinking about this middle name. It's bugging me but I would prefer Bernard but he's totally against.

Saturday night was the cutest thing because K was talking to my belly for half an hour. And Kendall actually responded and moved. I told him that since his voice has so much bass in it, he can't help but to know it. He talked to him for so long that Kendall didn't stop moving for a long time. We couldn't even spend any time "alone" because the kid was awake. K kept asking, "Is this how it will be when he gets here? No mommy-daddy time?" LOL. I said, "Yup, pretty much. If you would have left him alone to sleep, it wouldn't have been an issue." I'm just glad he's lot more comfortable with things. That stuff that was on my mind last week is still there. Again, I won't go into detail but I will be mindful of how things are.

We still haven't orderd furniture yet. Again, this is totally a K thing but considering how I had some contractions Friday night, he needs to get it together. No stress, no stress. I just can't believe I'm having a baby. I'm actually getting bigger each week. Some days it seems like I dont' have a stomach and others its like ddddayyyyuummmm! Today is definitely a yoga day for me because I feel so tight in my hip joints. Considering how eventful Saturday was for me, a good stretch is necessary ;)

Well, let me get back to work. Need to start getting it together before my department meeting. 29 weeks tomorrow!

It's Friday, what else is there to say?

2008-05-16T14:33:00.002-04:00

What I have done this Friday? Absolutely nothing! I spent most of the morning looking at shower invitiations yet again. By this afternoon, I said forget it and told my mom and aunt to go look at them. I was sick of looking at these dayum things. Nonetheless, they are picking them out tomorrow and it will be done. Thank goodness. Next on the baby shower agenda is picking up decorations and such. That should be a breeze.

I have to attend a baby shower tomorrow for my friends Lex and Shay. I really don't feel like going (isn't that awful) but I said I would show. I may just hang for an hour before dipping out. I'm sure there will be tons of folks there and I don't really feel like being bothered. Nothing personal. Just don't feel like going. Personally I just dont feel like being bothered all the way around. Last night I didn't even bother answered the phone for two phone calls. I just needed some Monique-time. I got a lot of stuff on my mind and don't need folks barking in my ear about stuff. Just giving me some space and I'll holla at you next week.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to get as a gift. I'm going to the mall after work and pick up some stuff and create a little basket or something. Anyway, I feel ok today. Kendall kicked me so hard after I ate lunch that it took my breath away. This little boy is going to be a busy body, that's for sure. No big plans for the evening. I finished my laundry last night so I'll probably just do some cleaning and putting clothes away. I'll probably also crack open a couple of movies I've been meaning to watch and wash my hair.

I called my job's insurance company to get some info about pay during maternity leave. What I pretty got was that depending on the type of birth, that will determine how long they pay me for. So it's either 6-8 week pay. Which is fine, I can take two extra weeks with no pay. I'll just save my duckets and post up at home. I was really hoping to have my stimulus check money by now so that I could use it towards bills while I'm out but I'll figure it out. God will make away. I suppose it is kinda hard to do this and not be married. It's all good. I'll work it out. Luckily I've been saving a little money here and there for a baby account. Just never know these days.

I had a dream that I saw Kendall the other night. He was born and I was changing him while he was lying on my bed. Hard to believe that in just a short time I'll actually be doing that. Wow. Me, changing a baby that is mine. This makes me think about Sierra. I'll have to call Red and try to meet up with them tomorrow.

Well, let me finish up a bit of work and head out for the day. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thursday already?!

2008-05-15T14:32:00.003-04:00

This was the title of my post in my personal blog because I'm still amazed that Thursday is here. I feel like it was just the weekend and here it is back around again. Nothing really to update today. I went to bed last night at 9:30 and actually got up at 6 ok. I was still a bit groggy but I have a feeling I won't get in until late tomorrow morning. Seems I just can't get enough sleep regardless of what time I go to bed.

I was also really nauseous by the time I got home. I knew I should have ate something but I made myself wait 2.5 hours just so I could eat while I watched tv. Just sad, I know. Today I will not make that mistake. But I am a bit concerned about my menu for the day:

breakfast: 1 english muffin and a bottle of grapefruit juice
midmorning snack: cheetos
lunch: chicken sandwich and baked beans and water
afternoon snack: grapes
planned dinner: nachos, strawberry sundae and sprite

Not exactly the best of the best but good enough. I'm just not too hungry these days again. Kendall definitely kicked up a storm when I ate that chopped chicken sandwich. It might have been the hot sauce.

*sidenote: someone is eating popcorn near me and it smells! yuck!*

I'm still pretty exhausted but that's to be expected. On a lighter note, one the ladies I work with was commenting to another co-worker about how pretty and nice I look everyday and how well my pregnancy is going. Made me feel kinda good about myself today instead of feeling like a huge elephant.

Finally a decision was made about the invitations for the baby shower: we're just going to order them. I was so sick of looking at these things, I told my mom to forget it and let's just order these suckers. No sense in stressing myself. Besides, it will help save some money in costs for the shower anyway. My job is throwing me a baby shower next Friday, which I'm totally excited about! My first baby shower. I hope someone has a camera to take pictures for me. I also can't wait for the cake. My own baby shower cake. Just too precious! I may need to stop and pick up something eat on my way home. I'm feeling a little hungry.

Emotionally today I feel ok, a little down but I'll get over it I guess. I have some things on my mind in regards to K and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about them. Well no, I know how I feel but don't want to deal with it. Ok, I need to get up and walk around because my mind is wandering all over the place and my arm hurts. Tomorrow will be a great day...and I'm make sure of it.

Blah day

2008-05-14T11:28:00.002-04:00

Forgive me if I seem a bit moody today. I guess moody isn't the right word; I think I'm more irritated today. For one, the shower invitations that I'm trying to print just aren't working out. I know part of the reason is the printer. My thing is, as much as I would love to use this for the invitation, just to print it on the reasonable printer like kinko's is going to cost a grip. I'm sure it shouldn't be a big deal, but damn. I'm tired of dealing with invitations. Just do the damn baby feet and be done with it.

I have a bad stomach pain going on. Just to the left of my belly button. Maybe it's Kendall or maybe I'm straining that muscle. I don't know. Last night I couldn't sleep for running for the toilet. Not to vomit but I couldn't sleep with anything on my stomach. Seems he didn't like my veggie soup I made for dinner. Well, too bad because I'm having it for lunch too. I had tons of tomatoes and other veggies and I don't want to short myself on that. Oh well, never mind. I'll just eat what can and pray it stays down.

I'm still exhausted as all get out. Tonight I'm going to bed immediately after Top Model. Screw that staying awake stuff. I might read for about 30 minutes and then lights out at 9:30. I feel like I need more rest even though I'm sleeping about 7 plus hours each night. What's up with that? I took some updated pictures last night and I'm totally not feeling them today. I dont' think their a good reflection of me. The black dress made it hard to see my stomach. I'll retake them when I get home.

Other that, its just another cloudy day in Georgia and baby boy isn't as active as he normally is in the mornings. Usually he would have kicked or stretched by now and I haven't felt anything. I guess he's sleepy too. Can't say that I blame him. Get your rest, kiddo.

28 weeks (7 months)

2008-05-13T11:09:00.006-04:00

We are at 7 months and my how time has flown by. I can't believe that in just 2 short months (or sooner!) Kendall will be in my arms. Before I get into how I'm feeling at this mark, let me back track about how the past couple of days have been. I actually celebrated my first Mother's Day this year. Yea, I got a little teary eyed but K took me out to dinner Saturday at Maggiano's. We stuff our faces and had tons of food to bring home. Good thing we did because it was great for lunch yesterday at work. Sunday we went out to brunch at The Flying Biscuit, then walked around Little 5 Points, got some ice cream at Coldstone Creamery, walked around the Edgewood shopping center and then went to the bookstore. It was such a great weekend. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I bought my mom some flowers and a $30 gift card to Dillards. Then I ordered my grandmother some flowers that she loved. It was a great weekend for all.

And here I am today. I feel ok. I was bit groggy when I woke up this morning. I think I need to start going to bed earlier or something. I'm just tired and a little depressed. I'm really nervous about the childbirth but lately I've been feeling a little, I don't know, played I guess would be the right word. I've been so wrapped up in my pregnancy (as I rightfully should be) that I forget that K and I are well...whatever we are. I'm not going to get into this right now. No, I'm going to focus on the positive and what's going on right now.

The favors for the shower arrived. They are so cute! Which leaves me with decorations and that's about it. I'll figure that stuff out later at the last minute. I want some really cute centerpieces but I also want to be able to break things down really easily. I have to think about this some more.

We're supposed to go visit K's family at the end of this month. By then I'll be 30 weeks. Hard to believe not too much longer after that. Of course that will be our last trip until the baby gets here. No sense on being on the road and I could go into labor any day then. Besides, it will be way too hot to travel anywhere and with these gases, I would rather stay my butt at home.

In terms of getting ready for Kendall's arrival, all I've done is register at the hospital, I start the classes next month, the baby shower is next month and we're supposed to order the furniture at some point this month. I should just go ahead and do it myself but I'll let K handle it since he wants to. whatever. Apparently, my office is throwing me a baby shower next Friday. I thought that was really sweet. Speaking of which, I need to get ready to run out for lunch to pick some paper to test my invites for my own personal shower. *sigh* Seems like I can never get anything done. Couple that with the frustrations I have at work and it's just a ball of attitude.

Much better day than yesterday

2008-05-08T15:08:00.002-04:00

I'm not as moody today although, I have kept to myself quite a bit. Just not feeling like being bothered with folks, I guess. I've pretty kept to myself while Kendall has kicked me all day. I think yesterday was just a bad day for me. It happens.

Still no agreement on the invitations. Actually, I haven't looked at those doggone things since yesterday. I did redesign one I had and resent it to my mom, Estelle and Wanda to get opinions. It's basically a collage of my photos. I'm really leaning towards that and might test print this weekend. We'll see.

I'm going to order the baby furniture tonight. I'm tired of waiting on K to do it. I asked him to order at the first of the month and he hasn't done shyt. Whatever. I'll take care of it myself and get the money from him. Speaking of money, I have to drop off a payment on the community center today. Estelle dropped some cash off at my place last night. With that, we don't have much to pay on the location. I have to remember to call Rosie tonight so I can get her address.

Other than that,its been an ok day. A little gassy, and he was kicking alot but ok. I have no clue what we'll be eating for dinner tonight but since Ugly Betty and Grey's Anatomy comes on, it will be something totally not healthy for us.

Kind of moody today

2008-05-07T14:29:00.002-04:00

I have officially reached my breaking point with this baby shower. No seriously, I'm done. I have changed my mind about the freaking decorations, colors and invitations so many times. I don't have a clue what I want at this point. No, I take that back; I do but I'm just having a helluva time saying that's finally it. Granted I have a month to have it together but I feel I need to do this now. Hell, we haven't even ordered the funiture yet. Screw this, I'm not going to wait around for K to do this when he wants. This needs to be done. I'm sorry but I have a serious attitude today. I guess this is the moody part of pregnancy. Whatever. It's just been one of those days when I should have stayed in bed. Lord knows I wish I had but I can't. No, mommy has to come to work and make money so she can take care of things before Kendall gets here. I may start going out for lunch again. I used to spend that time going to the store and getting so air. Perhaps that will help my mood. It just seems like everyone insists on annoying me today.

I dont like my hair, I feel like nothing I put on is cute, I look a dayum mess, my skin is either really oily or really dry, my hair on my legs has me looking like a Yetti died on it. I mean, come on. No, let me stop complaining. I am ever grateful for every challenge and every uphill battle because the end result is this beautiful baby boy growing inside of me. Speaking of which, I put a message out in the Parent' sListserv about childbirth classes and got TONS of responses. This one girl told me I could call her personally and she would relay some info to me. She gave birth at the same hospital I'll be at. Everyone is raving hypnobirthing and the bradley method. I want to try a combination of both, primarily the hypnobirthing. I'm really excited about. I know what type of birth experience I want and are glad I have the support of my family and the midwives for that.

One lady made a good point, she said that she thinks the best prevention and way to have natural childbirth is to exercise and preparation. How awesome is that? I need to increase my exercising, although I do pretty good now. I could certainly do more walking and plan to break out the yoga dvd when I get home. No sense in it lying around collecting dust. I need to put it to work. End of discussion.

Ok, I feel a little better now that I've had a midday vent fest. On the baby progression note, I've been experiencing some pressure down there. Like his foot is going to out or something. I know that sounds strange but it seems like he's lower. I don't think he's head down at all (why do I have a breech baby) but I'm going to do the exercises they recommend to get them to turn. We'll wait about 3 more weeks and see if he starts to turn then. at 8 months, this boy better be face down and ready to decend. Momma can't take it if I have to have a c-section. Lord knows I don't pray for that.

27 weeks (FINALLY!)

2008-05-06T14:10:00.004-04:00

27 weeks and counting. Well next week begins the 7th month, which means only two more months left. I called the hospital earlier to sign up for another class. This one is on June 14th and it's the breastfeeding class. The nurse also recommended that we attend one or all of the prenatal series. I'll have to talk to Ken about that this evening or tomorrow. I feel like I got bigger over the weekend or something. My stomach really pokes out and is super round. Gosh this pregnancy is progressing fast. I think I'll actually miss being pregnant once it's all said and done. It's just the delivery I'm terrified about.

I was so exhausted when I got home last night. I struggled to stay awake to watch House. I ate a really good veggie salad from Willy's and then washed my hair. Once I was done, I did some squats up against the door. K gave me the most wonderful body massages on Sunday morning and Sunday night. I'm sure I've already talked about this but I needed that. that coupled with the squats I did last night felt great. Those squats really open things up for you. My hips felt so good afterwards. I'm going to make sure I do those every night and hold for as long as I can. I'm trying to do what I can to make sure I don't rip or tear during delivery. Which reminds me, I need to ask the midwife if they have birth balls at the hospital.

On that note, I think I'll get back work and prepare to leave for the day. I still have to go shopping for Mother's Day cards.

Picture Update

2008-05-05T15:09:00.004-04:00

I'm slipping on my game with the pictures. I was supposed to take one last week when I was 26 weeks and here I am, 27 weeks tomorrow and I still haven't. My plan this evening is to take a picture and post it up immediately. With that said...

Yes, this is the beginning of week 27. Can't believe I'll be 7 months next week. It's amazing how the time is flying. I think I'll actually miss being pregnant when it's all said and done. It's been pretty cool having this little boy inside of me. I haven't gained any weight, my hair is at its best, my skin, well, that's a different story. LOL. I also love the bonding that is occuring with my mother and I right now too. Sometimes I sit around and daydream about how things will be when Kendall gets here. I can see us now, lounging around at home playing. I can't wait to meet him. And who knows, maybe one day I'll have another child so he can have a sister or brother. Naturally I want a husband before that happens. LOL

I'm still trying to narrow down the selection for the baby shower invitations. It's pretty much going to be the baby blocks but I need to work on the centerpieces. Something else I plan to spend the week getting together. I'll work on that come Thursday. K and I still haven't ordered the furniture yet. I need to make sure we do that by no later than next week. The sooner it gets here, the better. That way we can have that set up and ready to go by June. I don't want to be 8 months pregnant and go into labor without ANYTHING here for Kendall. Heck, I haven't even started to pack my hospital bag yet. I'm panicking. I know I need to calm down and get organized. Yes, that is the plan for this week. Set some realisitc goals and get them done. This means my home and all. Ok, I feel better.

Saturday night, K and I saw Iron Man then went to McDonald's. I shouldn't have ate those chicken nuggets so late because the boy kicked until 3:30 that morning. Then Sunday morning K gave me the best massage ever. It felt GREAT. I think he knows when his daddy is rubbing my stomach and when I do it because he started kicking up a storm. Then Sunday night he gave me another massage on my legs and feet and upper shoulders. Before I knew it, I was sleep. I don't even remember falling asleep. It's time like that I really love that man. Funny thing, his mom called him last night while I was cooking and I talked to her. She said he might faint on me while I'm delivering so I need to be prepared. Then she said that when the doctor told her and his father that she was pregnant, his dad got up and walked out. LOL. I said that's funny because when I told K, he just sat there and started pacing. I had to make him say something to me. LOL. Funny how they have ways alike. Anyway, I thought that was funny. I just can't wait for this little rascal to get here so he can meet all the people that love and adore him already.

With that said, I'm going to finish up some work and then head out at 4 so I can get home and take some new pictures.

**UPDATE*** Here are some pictures of me going into week 27

Labor and Delivery

2008-05-01T13:02:00.003-04:00

I've noticed that as I get closer to the end, everyone wants to share their birth stories. Not only have I been freaked out and scared, but I've been grossed out. The concensus on advice is to stay on top of my breathing. If I lose it, I could let the pain consume me and it end up being too painful. I thought this was really good advice for a first time mother.

Daily I'm plagued with thoughts of how the labor might be or what to expect but my mom told me to just let my body do what it's supposed to do. I'm not going to stop it or force it to happen. I am very nervous and feel as though I'm not ready but I don't have a choice. This baby will come when he wants to come. Right now, I feel like it might be in July. And Kendall just kicked me so I guess it will be. *sigh* I'm going to stay prayful and know that everything will be ok. The Lord wouldn't have put me in this position and made me capable of doing this if I didn't know how to. I will keep my faith in him about all things.

While on the subject, I need to decide on my doggone invitations. I swear, this is so exhausting. At least I ordered the favors already. I'll hold out on the other stuff until I (hopefully) get a stimulus check.

No longer on Mothering.com

2008-04-30T14:32:00.001-04:00

Some of you read my blog and others don't but I just wanted to let you all know that I am NOT be returning to Mothering.com nor will I encourage anybody else I know to visit that site. One of my post was removed in regards to circumcision. Basically the topic was if whether or not you were going to circumcise your son. My response was this:

All I've known is c'rd so when I brought the issue up to my partner he is totally for it. I'm open to understanding both sides but I feel I might lean more towards going for it. I don't know. I think I need to pray on it some more.

To me, I see nothing wrong with this statement but apparently I violated some terms of agreement by saying that I am going to do it. Interesting, because every other post said that that person was not. So I'm violating the agreement but saying I am but I want to pray over it? WTF? I am truly pissed by this and very much turned off from this site. I have recommended it to numerous coworkers and plan to tell people to stay way from it. Until they get some real moderators that know what they are doing, I will not be back. To those I have built relationships with, I will continue to keep in touch via personal email. If not, well, it was nice while it lasted but I will not stand for this type of injustice.

Just a doggone shame all around. I really liked that message board. Thank you to that person that sent me a heads-up on my post being removed. I really appreciate that.

26 weeks

2008-04-30T12:10:00.003-04:00

I am officially 26 weeks (as of midnight last night). I got so busy at work last night that I didn't even bother blogging in the afternoon like I normally do. Things at this point are pretty well. We finally decided on a first name for the baby: Kendall! Yes, I got my name. As for the middle name, I've left that up to K. I would prefer if his middle name was the same as his father's but he does not like his middle name and is pretty adamant about his son not having that name. I just thought it would be good so that they could have the same initials. My mom likes the name and says that we can call him Kenny. Yea right. His father will not have that. Even I won't have that.

So, now that Kendall has officially been named, it's on to the baby shower. The location has been paid for and secured.

Braxton Hicks contractions already?!

2008-04-25T14:39:00.001-04:00

As I was sitting here all nice and quiet, jamming to music here at work, I felt a tighten in my stomach. I mean, a serious ass cramp. I call my aunt and she tells me to call the doctor ASAP. Turns out I was having braxton hicks contractions. I've been told to monitor them for the rest of the day, drink plenty of fluids and put my feet up. Of course she had to throw that thing in there about not lifting anything heavy but this is me we're talking about. I live by myself and have no one else to rely on all the time. Nonetheless, I'll figure it out.

Other than that, I feel fine. Kendall has been moving all day along. Squirming and stretching out. I guess the space is starting to feel a bit crowded but we have to do what we can. Right now my body is telling me to go home and go to bed. That I am definitely going to do. I plan to put on my nightgown, put in a movie and just doze until my hearts content. Then watch this boy have me waking up at midnight, wide awake. LOL

I do need to remember to talk to K this weekend about ordering the crib and dresser. We can't wait any longer on that. It needs to be done soon and I certainly don't want to wait until the last minute to start preparing for Kendall's arrival. I'm beginning to get anxious and it's driving me crazy. Gosh, I need to look for shower invitations this weekend. Well, next weekend. Gas is too high to drive all over the place. I can also shop online so I might go that route instead.

Well, that's it for now. Let me go get some water and finish the rest of my day so I can head home.

25 weeks..and two days

2008-04-24T14:20:00.004-04:00

So I forgot to finish my post from the other day but this is cool because I'm actually 25 weeks now so it makes more sense for me to enter something now. How am I feeling? I actually feel pretty good. Some days I'm ok with my body and other days I'm a little bothered by it. I guess this whole changing of and expanding of my belly thing really bothers me. Granted I know there's a baby in there, it's still a bit much. Anyway, I feel good and know that he's doing well.

I have finally secured a place for my baby shower. It's going to cost $475 dollars but when you have a baby coming inthe middle of the wedding season, you might as well expect that. The only thing left to do is decide on invitations. My friends are helping with the food and my mom and aunt are going to pay for the location. I'll pick up decorations and such as it gets closer. Can't depend on everyone for everything.

We still haven't decided on a name for this kid yet. Somedays I don't even feel like fighting with K about this but I really want to get this done and out of the way. Kendall is still my first and only choice. Wait. I take that back. I like Mason but I know he's not going to go for that. Either way, I want this child to have a name by the baby shower.

Speaking of baby showers, I am supposed to be going to the first lady of my church's shower on Sunday. I haven't received an invitation nor do I have the address and directions. Sigh. I guess I'll call tonight.

The other night Kendall was doing some flips and turns like never before. His movement is getting stronger and more consistent. The doctor did say I need to start monitoring his movement, especially after I've had a meal. Speaking of meals, I need to decide what I'm going to eat tonight because right now I'm not feeling like anything at all.

I've been ghost from MDC for the past couple of days. I need to jump back on and see what's been happening in the lives of the momma's. I'm going to take a look in a few, finish some work and then head home for the day. My bed is calling my name...

At the end of 24 weeks

2008-04-22T11:09:00.002-04:00

I haven't blogged since just before my birthday. I've been so busy and it seems like things are really starting to pick up. I turned 27 on Sunday and had a great day. Spent it with K and my friends and baby boy kicked all day. I guess he was wishing mommy a happy birthday too. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday (yesterday) and everything went great. My BP is great, his movements and heartbeat are awesome and I haven't gained a pound. Well, I gained the two I was missing from the 5 that I lost so that puts me back at my pre-pregnancy weight. The doctor said that she doesn't think I'll gain anymore than 10-15 pounds during my pregnancy. This, apparently is good. I'm just grateful all is well. I return in May for my glucose screening and regular appointment and then I'll start seeing them every two weeks. Wow! Every two weeks! I can't believe it's almost time. I feel like I haven't gotten anything ready.

Now that we've pretty much narrowed down the whole crib and registry stuff, now I can focus on ordering it and getting the baby shower stuff together. I still need to get things together around my house and plan to work on that stuff soon too. I'll be 25 weeks tomorrow.

Fatigue....again?!

2008-04-17T15:11:00.003-04:00

I thought you were supposed to have increase energy in your second trimester? Not today. I am so tired. I plan to go to my car around 3:30 and take me a nap for an hour. Gosh I'm exhausted. Baby boy is moving all over the place today. I don't know if the sandwich I just ate give him and energy burst but he has not stopped moving. I mean, gosh little boy! Take a break. Mommy is tired and need a break.

Nothing new to report today. Still trying to decide on baby shower invitations and find a location for the shower. It looks like it might be at Eagle's Landing Country Club after all but we'll see. This is totally my mom's thing so I'm going to let her run with it.

On another note my skin is suddenly become oily. My face is horribly oily and I had to break down and get some clinique stuff to clear it up. Luckily, it has been rather helpful and I plan to stick with it. I do know that the body butter is not/does not work because I'm all ashy again. Perhaps after extensive sloughing things will improve.

Well, let me had to the restroom and then to my car. This nap is going to be a great.

6 months

2008-04-16T15:08:00.003-04:00

Man, I didn't realize that it has been at least a week since I last posted anything. I've finally hit the 6 month mark today. It's amazing because I feel him moving all over the place now and it's much stronger. I still can't believe this kid is 12 inches long as point. I wonder if he's facing backwards still? Since I won't have anymore ultrasounds, I'm pretty much left to waiting until the boy gets here.

Yesterday I actaully felt him move on the outside of my stomach. He's such a busy body. Last night he kept me up until 1am with all the moving. He was unusually active all day yesterday. Other than that, I feel pretty good today. Heading to the mall after work to buy something to wear to the play and something to wear Saturday night if we all go out to Dugan's. Saturday will also be the "big reveal" because I haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant. LOL Should be interesting.

No change in weight but I have been a little bit more moody lately than normal. Could just be me but that's not the norm. Oh well. I'm pregnant so I get some lean way. LOL

Ready? Set? Register!

2008-04-11T14:25:00.003-04:00

So I had another "I'm going to be somebody's mother" panic attack today. I think the stress of trying to figure out my apartment situation, coupled with lack of money today, etc, has been overwhelming. I know I'm worrying for no reason but still. This is MAJOR. I didn't think it would be like this. I always envisioned pregnancy as carefree and breezy. I mean, technically it is but sometimes, the emotions are uncontrollable.

The plan is going to register this weekend. I think we said tomorrow. Pretty much knock out every and any store we need to hit. I'm going to spend the evening rearranging and packing up my apartment. I really want to move into a two bedroom but I think it will be better if I just stick where I am and make things work for me. I'll try not to keep worrying but I just want things to be as close to perfect for this little boy as possible. I know that's asking a bit much but hey, gotta make it work.

I've still been thinking about this name thing and one name still sticks with me. I know K wants to kinda wait but hey, I know what I want my child named. I won't stress it but I won't keep calling him "little boy" either. LOL. Since I have nothing to post I guess I'll leave you with a picture from 23 wks and 4 days..

UPDATE: Let me add a note that on 4/10, my mom said that I would pretty much spend the rest of my life yellling out instructions when it comes to kids. "Sit down", "don't do that", "be still" "clean your room" etc. Just want to make sure I remember this.

23 weeks

2008-04-09T13:55:00.004-04:00

We're hit 23 weeks, one week away from 6 months. I feel pretty good. The pollen is pretty bad outside, which is hell for someone like me who can't really take anything but it's all good. Baby boy is kicking up a storm and moving all the time but I would prefer that to no movement. He attended his first concert last night: Mary J and Jay-Z Heart of the City tour. It was great.

So far all I've done is picked up the baby stuff from Naomi but I still need to go register for my own. I did manage to register at Kohl's but of course I have a couple of other stores to add to the list. I would prefer a variety as opposed to just two. I also want to have all the funiture and stuff in place before it gets hot. Personally, I don't see myself out shopping in the heat.

So far, the only new thing I've noticed is that his kicks are getting stronger and my energy level is back up a little bit. I try to get out more and do some walking but with the pollen, I'm pretty much limited to work and my apartment.

In regards to name, we still haven't decided on one yet. K wants the name to just "hit him" but I have one that has hit me. *sigh* Either way, our son still does not have a name but I still call him by the name I prefer anyway.

Short entry

2008-04-04T15:13:00.002-04:00

Nothing really new to report today. Baby boy is kicking and moving constantly, especially after I eat. We play this game now of me pushing at his feet, and then he pulls them away as if I'm bothering him. LOL. It's so cute. I know it annoys him but mommy wants to play sometimes just like he wants to play sometimes.

We're going to go ahead and register at some point this month. I was hoping it would be this weekend but I doubt it. I'm sure K has stuff to do so I might just go to one of the stores and register by myself. Hell, I need to go check on cribs and things like that. We were supposed to do it together but school seems to have him bogged down to an extent. Other than that, no big baby plans. Might go pick up some diapers (again!) and then call it a day.

Officially 22 weeks.

2008-04-02T15:06:00.003-04:00

I'm officially 22 weeks and doing great. I sent the girls pictures of baby boy today. He's been kicking it up all day. I love when he does that. Let's mommy know he's alright. I still can't believe it's almost time. Just a few more months to go. I bought some more diapers today and a jumper that says "Daddy's Little Wingman" on it. LOL. I know K is going to get a kick out of it. Trust and believe those two are going to spend lots of time together.

This totally random but one thing the pregnancy books and folks don't really talk about it how horny you get while pregnant. Seriously. I know I got a belly and all but that has not changed my sex drive to say the least. If anything, it's up even more from before. Poor K. I hate that we don't live together because, man, I could sure use him every night. I won't go into detail about this because eventually one day my son will read this blog and I don't need him to know all about the dirty thoughts mommy had about daddy.

The plan is to go register this weekend. I don't know if that's going to happen but we'll see. I'm going to call him tonight to see what's up with that. Hopefully he's available but again, we'll see. If not, I'll just go do it by myself or take my mom. Well, never mind because she'll probably be off playing tennis somewhere.

Still debating on this name thing. I love Kendall but I think he really wants to name him after him. I don't know. I might consent and we name him after his father but I don't know. Gotta think and pray about this for a lifetime. LOL Well, let me get ready to pack up this belly and take this boy home. Momma needs to get her yoga on and do some stuff around the house.

22 weeks tomorrow

2008-03-31T14:44:00.002-04:00

5.5 months and a little less than 4 months to go. I still have told anyone and aren't sure when I will at this point. I might as well let them find out on their own anyway.

K and I went to visit his family this weekend. We finally broke the news that it was a boy. Man, I have never seen people so excited but I think they too wished it were a girl. Maybe next time, well, we'll see... We didn't do much there. He helped his dad with a project and I sat around the house with his mom and 3 year old nephew all weekend. His dad kept telling his nephew that I was Auntie Monique and his grandmother kept thinking I was his wife. As nice as all that sounded, it wasn't true. No marriage for us. He's not ready for that. We did come up with at least one name: Kendall. The same name I've been sayiing from the beginning. And would you believe that my mother agrees that the boy should be named after his father?! That would make this child a 3rd! No way. What happened to individuality? You can't even have that these days.

My friend Lex and his girlfriend are about 25 weeks along now with their baby girl. I would love to share that kind of news but what's the point? I guess I'm still avoiding those, "whose the father" questions. *sigh* That's another story for another time.

We're supposed to start buying stuff this month. I would love to brand new stuff, but we might just get Brianna's stroller and playpen. It would save some money but I didn't want my child's first belongings to be handme downs. LOL Again, we'll need two of everything so I'll just give to him and I get the new stuff. I keep telling myself I won't get stressed out but I just dont' know how I'm going to fit this baby plus one dresser in my bedroom. Jesus, Lord, help me. I just pray that I can find a two bedroom at a reasonable price by July 1 so I can move in before the baby gets here. Since it doesn't seem like K and I would even live together, it's going to prove challenging. I'll have to get rid of my internet access and find a way to cut corners. Not to mention the daycare we'll be paying. It's expensive for newborns. *sigh* But this little boy is worth every penny and headache I'm enduring and the rest that are to come.

Other than that, I feel pretty good. Just anxious to meet him (but not before his time) and something solid in place.

Just another day in the neighborhood

2008-03-25T15:35:00.002-04:00

This little boy was kicking me all evening. I guess I was moving too much for him or something because he did not want to stay still. *sigh* I forget that he's the boss for the next couple of weeks. LOL.

We're heading to MS on Thursday/Friday. K's family has been calling me non-stop wanting to know what the baby is. I'm not going to tell it, per his instructions. He can share the news with his family as I did with mine. I can't wait for everyone to know it and it just be out there. I bought another bib last night. I says, "I love Daddy" on it. LOL. It was so cute I couldn't pass it up.

I feel ok today. Craving a cinnabon or a cupcake still. Not sure why but I'm bringing some in tomorrow. Me and these cravings. Not sure what to eat for dinner tonight but i'll figure it out. I need to remember to call my cousin Mandy to find out what the deal is with her dinner tomorrow night. Someone commented today that I'm really starting to look pregnant. LOL. I guess it is a bit more obvious now considering the stomach and all. Dang, I'm pregnant for real. Speaking of which, I need to be figuring out what I'm going to wear to work tomorrow. Ok, let me head home and do something with my hair.

He knows!!!

2008-03-24T16:33:00.002-04:00

I finally told K the baby was a boy. Man, did I think he was going to jump out of his skin. He was so near tears that it was funny. Needless to say, he thought I was going to say girl but I said, nope it's a boy. I made him close his eyes and put the "Thank heaven for little boys" bib on his chest. He decided he was going to make his family wait until we got to MS for before he told them. I don't blame him. They've been calling me all weekend so I'm out of this fight. LOL.

Baby Boy has been moving and kicking all day. My stomach feels harder than normal but the doctor said everything was ok. I'm just glad to know that all I've gained is 3 pounds and that he's doing ok. Thank you Jesus.

I'm dying to go shopping for baby stuff but trying to pace myself until we buy this furniture. Speaking of which, I need to talk to him about that anyway. Well, let me drag my tired self and this baby home and then to mall. I've been craving a cinnabon all day.

It's a....

2008-03-22T00:59:00.002-04:00

I meant to post this on March 20th but I got so wrapped up in other things.

Well, K and I went to the doctor's and they did the level II ultrasound. Everything looked great. Apparently the little tike is in prayer position facing my back with knees and arms bent. LOL. Go figure. My child is praying for its crazy parents. The tech wasn't able to get a good picture of the heart so I have to back for that ont he 31st.

When it came time to find out the sex, K couldn't decide and was going to leave out of the room. Well, I started to cry and got a little upset because I wanted to know and didn't want him to step out. The tech said she wouldnt do it unless we could both decide. Instead, she printed the pic, put it in an envelope and gave it to me. We got in the parking lot and I wanted to know, and so the argument went. Well, he let me peek and I saw it.

IT'S A BOY!!!!

Yes, I am having a son. I haven't told him and he doesn't want to know, but I'm going to on Easter Sunday. I don't want him to not know and plus we're going to see his family next week and they are expecting to know something. I told my family but his family doesn't kow. Im so happy and excited. I bought two little jumpers that say, "My daddy is #1" and "Mommy loves me" for the kid to wear. I can't believe it. Lord, I'm having a son! I'm going to post the pictures to my photobucket account. I can't believe it. Thank the Lord.

Officially 20 weeks

2008-03-18T14:55:00.004-04:00

I am officially 20 weeks today. Yes, baby dearest, we made it to 20 weeks. Thank you Jesus. I want to celebrate by buying something butttt.....considering how I don't know the sex of this child, I'm going to hold out until Thursday.

I feel ok today. Had a really good breakfast, I was late on eating lunch (like way too late) and have no clue about dinner at this point. Right now, I just want to go home, curl up in bed with K and do nothing else. I'm really really excited about my appointment on Thursday. At first I didn't want to know the sex but I'm at the point where I feel I need to know. Childbirth is magical and I feel that I may feel a bit more connected to the baby if I knew he/she was a he or she. LOL

I read a very touching story on MDC today. Apparently this woman is going to have to go through her pregnancy alone from this point because her SO is acting like a jerk. Her story sounds so much like mine and K's. Not that we're perfect but I understand her pain and how this hurts. I told her that I understand her pain and that she will get through it. Lord knows I don't know how I would have made it through all those times with K. Like I told her, I'm grateful for supportive family and friends because I could have choked the shyt out of him.

Speaking of him, Sunday night we were lying in bed and he says to me "I was telling my mom how I'm really excited now. That I've enjoyed shopping and looking at baby furniture." *blank stare* Did K just say that? I mean, the guy barely gives a reaction to anything and here he is talking about how he's excited about our child coming. I suppose it's gotten real to him but that does not excuse any past stuff. No sir. Not all the mess he had me going through early on and even recently at the beginning of the month. I don't know what he's doing when he's not with me but I'm not going to spend my nights trying to figure it out. I can't take that kind of heartache and pain right now. Not while I have this life in me growing.

I think I'm going to go buy another pack of diapers today. I'm just trying to start stockpiling while I can. More diapers, wipes and detergent. You can get all you want of those.

I'm still leaking milk and my breast are so itchy! My stomach has finally started to itch and that black line is starting. *sigh* this pregnancy is so real, I mean, for real for real. Heck, I need more pants and need to get some because my belly is expanding by the second. I guess I'll hit up BCF at some point this week.

I went by the bank today to cash those checks and the teller was God-sent. She told me about this program called Way2Save. Thank goodness for that because it takes $1 from each purchase and puts it into a savings account. By the end of the year if you've accured about $300, Wachovia will match that. Is that not the most perfect thing for the baby? I'll just let the money build and use it as an account that goes for the baby. I love it! On another "I love it" note, I got my student loan payments down to $61 dollars a month! ThankyouJesus! Now, if I can just get me and this child a house or bigger apartment, that would be freaking awesome!

Awful feeling Friday

2008-03-14T09:00:00.002-04:00

I feel like crap this morning. I should have known it was going to be like this when I woke up slightly naueous and then could barely get out of bed. I had some eggs and turkey sausage for breakfast and I wonder if that's contributing to the nausea. I'm trying to hang in here until at least late afternoon but I don't know. Lord, just let me make it to late afternoon/lunch time. Maybe some air will help.

Last night I was craving fried oysters but settled for some fried shrimp tempura sushi at Shout. Let me just say that it was wonderful! I haven't had sushi that good in a long time. Kudos to them. I'll definitely be ordering that when I go back.

Interesting thing happened this morning as I was waiting on my food. One of my colleagues comes up and asks when I ever stop feeding my baby. After a good laugh I said that since I feel better about eating, I'm going to eat whenever I'm hungry. So we discussed weight, nursing and all that good stuff. She kept referring to my baby as a "she" and I said I don't find out until next week. Both she and another lady told me not to do it. They said that it's such a special gift from God to even know the sex of the baby and that we should be surprised. Part of me wants to be surprised but I guess peer pressure is a mofo because both of our families keep pushing up about it. I'm still considering my option of having the nurse write it down, seal it in an envelope and give it to me. K and I can find out when we want to know but I don't know. I'm still debating this. I'll talk to him a little more about it another time.

The big day (next Thursday) is next week. Right now my focus is getting my money together to buy this furniture. I may just go ahead and order the playpen myself and let him get the other stuff. I don't know. I have too much stuff to figure out at this point. It doesn't help that feel awful right now.

Well, let me go. The baby is kicking and I need some water.

Craving Fried Oysters!

2008-03-13T15:08:00.002-04:00

Baby is has been moving all day and I'm craving some fried oysters from Pappaduex's. I would even go as far as to go to the farmers market, buy my own and fried them myself! Gosh, I'm so freaking hungry today it's not even funny. I'll just email K tonight and tell him how bad I'm feening for some and I'll see if he'll fry me some this weekend or something.

Baby is has been kicking and flipping around. Especially when I was eating this spaghetti stuff during lunch. LOL. I don't know if it was the spice or what but he/she started flipping and kicking like crazy. I don't know what I'm going to eat at this happy hour thing today but I'm going to tear some food up! LOL.

I've tried contacting the hospital a couple of times to sign up for child birth classes but the lady has not called me back. I'm tired of waiting on them. It's such a frustrating thing. When I explained to the receptionist that I've called several time and the lady never returned my called, her reply was that "she always does that but she'll call back". *insert blank stare here* WTF?!

I'm not going to get upset about it because if I go into labor and that lady is there, we will have a mofo problem, feel me?

Nothing new to report. Just craving fried oysters like a mad woman and getting ready to leave work for the day. Unless this baby kicks my hand tonight, I'll post tomorrow.

19 week shuffle

2008-03-12T15:09:00.003-04:00

I just learned that there will be an outage tonight at 7 so I figured I might as well go ahead and post now. I'm doing ok. I finally remembered to eat lunch on time for a change! Yea! Last night I went to bed around 6:30 and didn't wake up until 6 the next morning. I think both baby and I were exhausted after such a trying day. I was just happy to run out of here on time with no delay.

So far no cravings today. K and I are going to the Hawks game tonight. I have to leave work on time to pick up the tickets and then meet up with him over by his office. Nothing else major going on. Just keeping things pretty basic. I do need to make sure I eat something before we do anything tonight. I've already requested some nachos so let's see if he remembers what I said about that.

On a lighter note, I saved some extra money so I'm going to give him $300 to get started with the purchasing of baby stuff. I figure with that, he can buy the stroller and the playpen with some extra left over so we can buy the crib and stuff. I swear, I can't believe it's time to start buying furniture already. Speaking of which, I need to remember to make a bank run here soon.

My pants are beginning to fit a little too tight again. I really need to get some more but I'm trying to hold out for it to warm up so I can just buy dresses and skirts that I know I can fit after delivery. I took a stab at guessing gender today. One of my co-workers and I were discussing how to tell if it's a boy or girl, she said that since I'm mostly in the front, it's probably a boy because I'm not showing anywhere else on me. Who knows, maybe this is a boy. I feel a stronger feeling about this being a boy than a girl, but we'll see. I would love to have my girl first but hey, a healthy baby is enough for me. Boy or girl.

19 weeks tomorrow!

2008-03-11T09:05:00.002-04:00

Hard to believe I will be 19 weeks, well, I am 19 weeks today. Wow! Halfway there next week. It's still surreal to me sometimes that I'm pregnant. I can't believe. Of course I feel the kicks and the movement but I dont know. Sometimes it still doesn't seem real. I think when we go to the doctor next week and I find out the sex, it will seem more real to me then.

We went looking at baby furniture this weekend. It was a bit overwhelming but we narrowed the selections down to a few and have decided to start purchasing stuff next month. The biggest challenge is going to be for the crib. We have to make sure the doggone thing will fit in my bedroom more than anything. That and the fact that we get a dresser that will hold all the clothes. There's just so much to take into consideration.

K has mentioned that he's going to move closer to me. I think that's the best idea that way we won't have to keep dealing with that commute between both of our places. Not too sure where he's going to move to though but hey, I'll let him figure it out. No new cravings this week. I'm not partial to any particular food but I do hope I've gained a few pounds like I'm supposed to. I swear, that 4-5 pound loss really had me worried. I'm trying not to let it get to me though. I do need to call Kaiser and find out where I need to report to for this ultrasound. I assume that since it's a level II I might need to actually go to radiology. *sigh* More things to figure out but it's all worth it.

2008-03-07T21:38:00.003-05:00

To my unborn child,

Today was one of the most emotionally trying evenings of my life. In my anger and pain, I said somethings that may have hurt but never once did I say I regret you. Regardless of what happens between your father and I, I want you to promise me that you will be an honest, decent human being. That you will not do things in life only for your own personal gain, but that you do them with a pure heart. My parents and family raised me in that way and I suppose that's why people mistake my kindness for weakness. It's not. I love you so much and do not want to see you travel down a road others before you have and become lost to the darkness. I want you to stay in the light and always be pure of heart and mind. There will be people in your life who will tell you to lie, or tell you to tell people what they need to hear. No, I want you to be that one individual that will always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I want you to value open and honest people, and surround yourself with them. I want you love deeply and wholeheartly and you shall blessed with that in return. I want you to know that when you make a mistake, the first and best thing you can do is admit you were wrong. I never want to see you go through the pain and hurt that I have endured in the past year because of someone else. I refuse to let that happen to you. You are my world and I love you so much.

Be the person you want the world to become. The change starts with you.

Love,
Mommy

2008-03-07T15:04:00.002-05:00

I'm towards the end of week 18. It seems like I just turned 18 weeks and then on Tuesday I'll be 19 weeks. Dang this pregnancy is flying by. I guess I'll have to start buying stuff now. At least the stroller and the carrier set. Speaking of which, I need to talk to him about that stuff soon anyway. Seems like he keeps putting it off but I need to know so I can have my money together. I'm ever grateful for jury duty so at least have $200 to use towards baby goods.

The baby has been very active today. Kicking and moving all morning but no movement this afternoon. That's partially my fault because I didn't eat this afternoon. I just wasn't hungry and didn't know what I wanted. I've been craving some iHOP but I would prefer Chow Baby or Hot Stixs. I sure hope he suggests we go eat before the game but I doubt it.

I was so restless last night. I don't know if it's because I took a nap yesterday afternoon or what but I could not get to sleep last night. The baby was moving but not as much but I think it was just me. It's still really hard to get comfortable to any extent. I swear, men just don't know the things we women go through. I have to buy some more pants because NONE of my current ones are fitting unfortunately. I guess I'm going to get bigger than I anticipated. Heck, I need to figure out what I'm going to wear to this game Saturday if it's going to be 40 degrees outside. I guess I know what I'll be doing.

The baby is moving. I just ate some peanuts and there he/she goes squirming. LOL I love feeling the baby move. I've even figured out the Mountain Dew is what will get him/her kicking up a storm. LOL I need to make sure we play that game every now and then. Speaking of games, dill pickle potatoe chips are the shyt! Whenever I eat them, he/she goes ballistic. I mean kick and moving all over. I think we like that snack. Ok, we'll off to DOTS and maybe Target. I need to get the curtain rod and some other stuff so K can hang the curtains for me tonight.

2008-03-05T23:18:00.002-05:00

I'm about two days behind. My internal clock is totally off since I've serving jury duty for the past couple of days.

Here we are at week 18 and baby is doing great. Moving and kicking all the time. I've even figured out the trick to get the little bugger to move: Mountain Dew. Take a swig of one, lie on your left side and wait. It was so funny because K and were laughing about how much of our child's personality is already here but the baby isn't outside of the womb yet. Speaking of K, yes we are on speaking terms but I'm not going to push anything.

We're going to see the baby's paternal grandparents later this month. Luckily, we'll know the sex then and can share the news with his family. I'm totally knowing this baby is going to be a girl. I think I might cry when the tech reveals the sex of the baby to me. "Would you like to know the sex? " "Yes" "It's a.................." I wonder how K will react? He just knows this baby is a boy. LOL.

Other than that, I'm doing fine. Back to my pickle cravings. I also have an addiction to strawberry sundaes from Dairy Queen. I've also been wanting some Chow Baby. That would be delicious! Or Hot Stixs. Ummmmm. I sometimes wake up in the middle of thenight cravingfood. Of course I just slip some water and go back to bed but I still want food.

The fatigue came back strong this week. I've been hitting the sack by 8:30 or 9 but one can never have too much sleep. Anyway, I think I'll hit the sack now so that baby and I can do our McDonald's burrito in the morning before court.

18 weeks tomorrow

2008-03-03T18:39:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow marks the start of week 18 for me. Baby is going great. Kicking and moving up a storm. I drank a Mountain Dew today and those things are laced with caffeine. Needless tosay, mini me started moving and kicking like crazy. I guess that jolt was a bit much. I thought it was funny but I'll have to remember to limit my jokes like that.

I had planned on a sensible dinner of Hamburger Helper tonight with my family but looks like it will be a Big Mac and fries for me. I really wanted to do the sensible dinner but that Big Mac is sounding better by the minute. Since I don't have to be in order until 9 tomorrow morning. I can sleep until 7 and then leave by 8 and get there by 8:30. Baby and I are going to have a chill out night while momma cleans house.

I've decided to hold out on getting new furniture. I want to be able to pay cash for the baby furniture but first things first, some room has to be made in my apartment, no joke. So I plan on moving this storage containers, probably, myself at some point here soon. I know some folks are going to be made at me but I gotta do what I have to do. I don't have a man around so I'm in this alone.

Speaking of alone, I need to get my lonely butt on the road and get home and feed my child. Dinner is calling my name. My stomach is growling and I think Baby K is hungry.

2008-03-02T20:57:00.002-05:00

Well, it's March! I can't believe it. Seems like it was just December not too long ago. This is the start of week 18 for me. Baby is kicking and moving up a storm. It's pretty exciting. THis week's goal is to eliminate spicy food. Sooooo I have a thing for spicy food and I know it's not good for the baby, man, I crave it. LOL. I need to up my carrot intake and plan to load up on them this week. Or at least carrot juice.

I visited my grandmother today. I was so happy to see her. I saw my cousin's baby, who is the most adorable baby in the world. I can't wait for my own child to get here. For now, I'm just going to enjoy the pregnancy. Speaking of pregnancy, K was here last night rubbing my stomach. I won't go into detail about what has transpired but he was here. Enough said.

My big plans for tonight are to indulge in some reality tv and then pass out before getting up for jury duty in the morning. Baby's first day at court! LOL

You're kicking!

2008-02-28T20:54:00.004-05:00

I meant to blog earlier but things were really crazy today at work. This baby has been kicking up a storm today. I don't know what it is but now he or she is extremelly active and does not like to wait to eat. Today I was craving steak like it was nobody's business. I had Popeye's for dinner which was even better. I even ate everything. I can't tell you the last time I ate every bit of food from Popeye's. I'm a little more tired than normal. I think with all the things going on in my life right, it tends to wear me down.

I did buy a washer and dryer today. It looks like we're going to stick it out in my one bedroom apartment. I know it will be a tight fit but I'll make it work. I just can't afford to move anywhere else at this point. I think I once I get rid of this huge sofa and rearrange some stuff, eveything will be ok. I hate waiting but hey, gotta make it happen.

I'm really excited about furniture shopping. I thinking about ordering everything in April or May. It really depends on how long it takes it to be delivered. Not to mention, how long it will take to put together. My friend Lex and his girlfriend are having a baby girl. I am so excited and anxious to find out the sex of my own child. The anticipate is killing me! Hopefully K will be there with me but who knows. Not stressing it. One thing I can say is that I have decided on your name: Kendall. Yes, your name will be Kendall.

One of my MDC friends, Angela, is having a tough time but admire her strength. Angela is a lesbian having a child on her own. Despite what society and negative individuals have to say, I think she's awesome. She has a great support system in her friends. I do hope she realizes that. She is such a wonderful person and I really enjoy getting to know her. Granted it's only online and through MDC, I know everything for her will work out, just like it will for me.

I would blog more but I'll feel like I'm rambling and I'm exhausted.

Cravings

2008-02-26T12:53:00.002-05:00

It's Tuesday and I'm so freaking hungry! Yesterday I had a bad craving for cabbage. I would have preferred collard greens, but the cabbage worked too. Man, it was so freaking good. I can't wait for Debra to make me some greens. I tell you what, this kid knows it loves its veggies and fruit.

I feel ok today. No bad headaches but I do tend to get stiff and feel bad at times. I try to get up once every hour and go for a walk. It helps to keep me limber and moving. What I really need is a massage these days. Oh, I just get my neck and back taken care of would be fabulous! I can't afford to go to the spa this month but I'm going to save my little $85 for next month. Momma needs a massage.

No big plans for tonight. Stopping by Willy's to get my black bean salad and chilling at home. The temp is supposed to drop tonight so I know I will not be coming back out the house when I get home. I'm trying to decide what movie I want to watch. I might be another Tyler Perry flick.

I was talking to my friend Jon today and he said he is so happy to hear about my pregnancy. I am too. I love to feel the baby move and kick. It's such an awesome experience, pregnancy. Right now, me and this little one are going to go find some lunch and try to get through the next two hours before heading home.

2008-02-25T14:50:00.002-05:00

We are quickly approaching 17 weeks and let me tell you, this baby is so freaking busy! I can feel him or her moving around so much, it's ridiculous. LOL. It actually tickles me because this little person is like their momma: a busy body. I took some recent photos. I'm trying to do better about keeping a photo journal of my pregnancy too. I want to do some pictures tonight. You know, I'm really enjoying being pregnant. I love the changes my body is going through and just feeling the baby move. Life is truly a miracle.

My mom and aunt have started planning my baby shower already. My only request is that there be lots and lots of balloons. I love balloons. Other than that, things are ok. I'm feeling good and doing good. Can't wait to meet this little person and better yet, find out if its a boy or girl!

16 weeks

2008-02-20T08:10:00.003-05:00

Haven't posted in a few days due to some emotional turmoil. I won't go into details about things but I will say that I do not want anything to do with the father of my child right now in my life. His has continously lied and disrespected me and I'm done with it. For the sake of my child, I am done with it.

I wanted to have a baby beginning last year. Honestly I did. I was ready and also thought I had found the guy that I would like that to happen with. We had talked about the "what if" factor and agreed that we would raise a child together. Well, it actually happened and part me hoped and thought that things would change. Granted the moment we both started having second doubts, I jumped back on the pill but only to discover I was pregnant. Really, I stopped taking them for two months because my body seemed so off wack and I needed a new prescription. Well, lo and behold, baby bumper shows up and shows out. LOL. I don't regret this pregnancy at all. Again, I'm just flattered that the Lord blessed me in such a wonderful way.

I didn't think I would be a single parent as I had initially planned, similar to my MDC friend Angela. No, I thought we would be in this thing together. Well, that we certainly are not. I don't know if reality has or hasn't suck in that I'm pregnatn and need him, but I'm not going to sit around and wait. Rather, I'm going to do what I need to do to take care of this child and myself. I probably won't be moving out of my apartment anytime soon. Looks like I'll be there for the long run. 3rd floor and all. LOL

I have wonderful friends and family who love and support me in all I do. I truly do and appreciate them for that. I love that they are there to listen and help me when I need it, but most of all, I am glad for my family. I haven't told them or let on that K and I are having problems. No, this is something I will handle on my own. I will be going to my doctor's appointments alone from here on out. I don't fairweather father there. My biggest challenge is deciding on a last name for my child. Yes, he/she should have the father's last name, but I'm conflicted about that. Sigh. I dont' want to concern myself with that right now but I will focus on the positive which is this wonderful little person growing inside me. I made it to 16 weeks and are looking forward to the rest of the pregnancy.

MDC has been such another blessing to me. I appreciate all of the advice and kind words everyone has for me. Thank you, ladies, for being another light in my dark tunnel.

A wonderful (2nd!) Valentine's Day

2008-02-15T14:48:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was probably the best and more memorable Valentine's Day in my life. K took me to dinner at Pappadeux's and I ate until my heart's content. Then we went back to his place, got in bed and watched LOST. Then he surprised me with a big pink gift bag full of goodies and the most heartfelt card I have ever read. I was so touched but he loved my gift of the first season of 24. He was really excited.

I know things aren't perfect between us and who knows how they will be but I do know that this man is very important to me and does have a heart and I'm in it along with our child. It felt great being in his arms and I can't wait for the time when our baby gets here and we all lie in bed together like a family. He's not my husband but I don't ever want my child to question the love we have for one another.

One another, I will be 16 weeks on Tuesday! I'm so excited! This baby is moving a little more and getting stronger each day. I have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and hope that we will have an ultrasound done. It would be great if I could know the sex but if not, we'll have to wait until March. That sucks but it's ok. I finally got some tax money back so I can start gathering my cost estimates for baby furniture. We'll have to order some items soon because I need to know how long it will take to come back. I figure, if we order by April, it should be here by May. I have to start getting things setup, decide if I'll move or what. All in all, I'm getting more and more excited with each passing day. Can't wait to meet this little person in me.

Hump Day

2008-02-13T14:42:00.002-05:00

Tuesday:
Yesterday was crazy busy for me so I didn't get around to blogging. Overall it was an ok day. K actually called me in the middle of the day. I thought something was wrong but he was just calling to check on me. I really appreciated that. I then talked to him again later that evening and he wanted to know if I had decided about food. I really haven't since food is the furtherest thing from my mind these days. It's still really sweet of him to offer though. Didn't do much last night but went to my parents and cooked dinner. Didn't feel like being home alone so I chilled over there.

Wed:
I was feeling fine until around Noon. I got hit with serious nausea and have been feeling bad since then. I thought it was because I waited too long to eat but it's not. I don't get it. I plan doing some baking tonight. Gotta make brownies and muffins for the group for Valentine's Day. Been trying to figure what to get K for V-day. Still not too sure on that. I might pick something up on my way home from work. Personally, I'm just too tired to think of anything but sleep and resting. I keep stuffing myself with fruit but I might need to lax on that. I really want some pickles but the salt intake in those isn't good for me or mini me. Speaking of which, I hope they do an ultrasound next week so I can make sure he/she is moving around.

Last night I had a feeling I knew what the baby is. It's like it just dropped in my spirit. It's a girl. Yes, I have a strong inkling this little tike is stubborn little girl. Of course I know what I'm going to name her although I may let K pick the middle name. I do want it to be a combo of both our initials though. I swear, sometimes I can't believe I'm actually pregnant. Me, with a child.

The pregnancy has been rough, but I'm enjoying every moment. Everytime I feel a flutter or movement, I feel really good. Just glad to know that I've been blessed. Despite what may happen between me and K, this child will be center of our universe. I just want to make sure he and I are on the same page and can really work this thing on so that we are doing the best we can for this baby.

My sex drive is on overdrive. Seriously, I had to email K the other night because I cant' take this once a week thing. I need it like every night. I mean, EVERY night. This once a week isn't going to work for a woman in my condition. Give it to me like I need it: which is pretty much everyday.

2008-02-11T14:45:00.000-05:00

Let's get started:

Friday:
I spent the evening at home in bed. I didn't go anywhere. I actually wasn't feeling that well but did manage to talk to a friend or two on the phone earlier in the evening. K finally called but I didn't call him back until later. We talked for two hours and he said that he's taking me a b-ball game next month, maybe a concert this month and I guess dinner for Valentine's day. *sigh* I'm not going to comment on how I feel about some things right now. But whatever.

Saturday:
Went out shopping with my mom for my cousin's baby shower. I had already picked up my gift but she had to get one. Headed down for the shower with my friend, godmom and my mom. Had a great time and have tons of pictures to prove it. I'll be uploading those to my album later today. Came home that night and could barely get to sleep. I didn't manage to doze off late but got some z's. Earlier that day I made some strawberry lemonade and learned that the baby gets kinda geeked up with that much sugar. It was pretty cool. Drink a cup and he/she goes coo-coo. LOL

Sunday:
Lounged at my parents, cooked over there and did laundry. I went shopping for a bit and pretty much spent the evening at home. I watched the grammy's and that was about it. I didn't talk on the phone, but I did stay up a little late reading. I really need to buy a new book tonight or I'll be out of something to read this evening. Maybe I'll stop by my aunt's house or something.

Today:
Of course I woke up groggy after a great night of sleep. I haven't felt as much movement today. Not sure what's up with that but this baby is so picky anyway. I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to eat for dinner. This not really wanting food but eating anyway sucks. Baby has to eat though, so I have to eat. I'm going to go ahead and get ready to head home. I'm starting to come down with a headache...again! My reasts are leaking big time. My bras keep getting wet and then they dry up and it sticks. I might have to get some nipple pads soon. At least this is a good sign that they are producing milk so breastfeeding is a big possibility.

2008-02-08T15:10:00.000-05:00

Made it to Friday. Had some normal aches and pains but nothing major. I did need a serious nap after going out during lunch to buy a gift for this baby shower. I got a cute little bouncer for my cousin. Then my mom wants me to go out with her tomorrow to get a crib or stroller. Sigh. I so don't feel like it but whatever. K called last night as I was drifted off. I would have answered it but I was tired and didn't feel like talking. I don't get how you can just call me when you feel like it which is normally once every 4 days. Whatever.

This kid has been crazy busy again today and craving salads. That seems to be all I want to eat all the time. That and chili cheese fries from Krystal's. Man, I need to stop by there on my way home. Either way, thank goodness it's Friday. I'm going to go home, eat some chili cheese fries and watch a Tyler Perry play. What an awesome way to kick off the weekend. Surprisingly, my boobs haven't been itchy today! Thank goodness! I might go buy me a cute pajama set and just lounge for the night. I should do some cleaning, but screw it! I need to take a trip to Sam's and get some water but I can't hump that heavy thing up the stairs. Nonetheless, I will just figure out. Tonight, tonight is all about baby and Monique.