16 weeks

Haven't posted in a few days due to some emotional turmoil. I won't go into details about things but I will say that I do not want anything to do with the father of my child right now in my life. His has continously lied and disrespected me and I'm done with it. For the sake of my child, I am done with it.

I wanted to have a baby beginning last year. Honestly I did. I was ready and also thought I had found the guy that I would like that to happen with. We had talked about the "what if" factor and agreed that we would raise a child together. Well, it actually happened and part me hoped and thought that things would change. Granted the moment we both started having second doubts, I jumped back on the pill but only to discover I was pregnant. Really, I stopped taking them for two months because my body seemed so off wack and I needed a new prescription. Well, lo and behold, baby bumper shows up and shows out. LOL. I don't regret this pregnancy at all. Again, I'm just flattered that the Lord blessed me in such a wonderful way.

I didn't think I would be a single parent as I had initially planned, similar to my MDC friend Angela. No, I thought we would be in this thing together. Well, that we certainly are not. I don't know if reality has or hasn't suck in that I'm pregnatn and need him, but I'm not going to sit around and wait. Rather, I'm going to do what I need to do to take care of this child and myself. I probably won't be moving out of my apartment anytime soon. Looks like I'll be there for the long run. 3rd floor and all. LOL

I have wonderful friends and family who love and support me in all I do. I truly do and appreciate them for that. I love that they are there to listen and help me when I need it, but most of all, I am glad for my family. I haven't told them or let on that K and I are having problems. No, this is something I will handle on my own. I will be going to my doctor's appointments alone from here on out. I don't fairweather father there. My biggest challenge is deciding on a last name for my child. Yes, he/she should have the father's last name, but I'm conflicted about that. Sigh. I dont' want to concern myself with that right now but I will focus on the positive which is this wonderful little person growing inside me. I made it to 16 weeks and are looking forward to the rest of the pregnancy.

MDC has been such another blessing to me. I appreciate all of the advice and kind words everyone has for me. Thank you, ladies, for being another light in my dark tunnel.